1 00:00:08,641 --> 00:00:10,700 [Quacking] 2 00:00:11,277 --> 00:00:12,471 [Cash register rings] 3 00:00:18,418 --> 00:00:19,578 [Quacking] 4 00:00:20,453 --> 00:00:21,977 [Cash register rings] 5 00:00:36,770 --> 00:00:38,533 [Quacking] 6 00:00:38,972 --> 00:00:40,439 [Cash register rings] 7 00:00:54,020 --> 00:00:55,783 [Quacking] 8 00:00:56,756 --> 00:00:57,984 [Cash register rings] 9 00:01:10,570 --> 00:01:12,435 [Quacking] 10 00:01:12,505 --> 00:01:14,029 [Cash register rings] 11 00:01:28,088 --> 00:01:29,646 [Quacking] 12 00:01:30,156 --> 00:01:31,851 [Cash register rings] 13 00:01:42,168 --> 00:01:43,760 [Quacking] 14 00:01:50,677 --> 00:01:52,542 [Quacking] 15 00:02:00,153 --> 00:02:02,212 [Cash register rings] 16 00:02:14,367 --> 00:02:15,834 This... 17 00:02:31,084 --> 00:02:34,281 Albert Dooley, the student voted most likely to succeed 18 00:02:34,354 --> 00:02:36,914 of the class of 1959. 19 00:02:36,990 --> 00:02:39,049 [Applause] 20 00:02:44,497 --> 00:02:48,194 You lovely, big success, Albert. 21 00:02:51,871 --> 00:02:55,864 [Jimmy] Daddy. Daddy. 22 00:02:55,942 --> 00:02:58,502 Oh. Excuse me. Yeah, what is it, son? 23 00:02:58,578 --> 00:03:01,103 Look, Daddy, here's the puppy Eddie said he'd give me. 24 00:03:01,181 --> 00:03:02,375 [Albert] Hey. 25 00:03:02,448 --> 00:03:04,882 - He's a cute one. - For only 50 dollars. 26 00:03:04,951 --> 00:03:06,782 Little... 27 00:03:06,853 --> 00:03:10,311 - Fifty dollars? - Eddie says he has his own pedigree. 28 00:03:10,390 --> 00:03:12,517 For that price, he ought to have his own car. 29 00:03:12,592 --> 00:03:15,060 I already picked out a name for him. 30 00:03:15,128 --> 00:03:17,995 Charlie. Good, huh? 31 00:03:20,266 --> 00:03:24,168 Yeah. Oh, yeah, that's fine. But that's... [laughs] 32 00:03:24,237 --> 00:03:27,206 I mean, 50 dollars. You know, it's... 33 00:03:28,875 --> 00:03:32,743 Well, there's licenses and vets and shots and... 34 00:03:35,315 --> 00:03:38,716 - Think of all the food. - I'd share my food with him. 35 00:03:38,785 --> 00:03:42,551 Oh, no, Jimmy. Small boys need all the nourishment they can get. 36 00:03:44,424 --> 00:03:47,757 You're not a small boy. You could share your food with him. 37 00:03:49,562 --> 00:03:52,053 Maybe next year, okay, Jim? 38 00:03:52,131 --> 00:03:56,192 I'll get a job. You can rent my room and I'll sleep in the garage with Charlie. 39 00:03:56,269 --> 00:03:57,634 Please, Daddy. 40 00:04:00,807 --> 00:04:05,369 - I'm sorry, Jimmy. - I thought you and I were pals. 41 00:04:05,445 --> 00:04:08,846 Hey. We are pals, pal, but... 42 00:04:08,915 --> 00:04:12,214 [Albert] I mean, where am I gonna get 50 bucks, huh? 43 00:04:13,786 --> 00:04:16,118 I mean, I can't even pay these bills. 44 00:04:18,258 --> 00:04:21,159 Here, Eddie. Take him. 45 00:04:23,296 --> 00:04:25,594 Bye, Charlie. 46 00:04:30,703 --> 00:04:32,500 Jimmy? 47 00:04:33,806 --> 00:04:35,398 Pal? 48 00:04:36,342 --> 00:04:38,936 [Music plays on radio] 49 00:04:41,814 --> 00:04:43,645 Cinnamon. 50 00:04:44,384 --> 00:04:46,113 Cinnamon... 51 00:04:46,886 --> 00:04:49,377 Where's the cinnamon? I just... 52 00:04:52,925 --> 00:04:54,893 Cinnamon... 53 00:05:01,134 --> 00:05:03,034 Mustard. 54 00:05:05,238 --> 00:05:07,069 Huh! 55 00:05:17,917 --> 00:05:21,250 Uh... Curry powder. 56 00:05:33,733 --> 00:05:36,793 And, uh... garlic. 57 00:05:38,004 --> 00:05:39,869 Garlic? 58 00:05:45,244 --> 00:05:48,338 Must be a simpler way to make applesauce. 59 00:05:48,414 --> 00:05:50,814 - [Albert] Katie. - Yes, dear? 60 00:05:51,451 --> 00:05:52,440 [Shuts off radio] 61 00:05:52,518 --> 00:05:55,214 - That was Herman and the Purple Cows. - I don't doubt it. 62 00:05:55,288 --> 00:05:58,451 Katie, we're gonna have to have another talk about economizing. 63 00:05:58,524 --> 00:06:01,652 Okay, first I want you to guess what I'm cooking, three guesses. 64 00:06:01,728 --> 00:06:04,925 - Later. - Try, um... plum pudding. 65 00:06:04,997 --> 00:06:09,457 - Plum pudding. - Wrong. Try applesauce. 66 00:06:09,535 --> 00:06:14,097 - Look, now we have to economize. - That's what I'm doing. 67 00:06:14,173 --> 00:06:17,665 I'm making homemade applesauce with apples off our very own tree. 68 00:06:17,744 --> 00:06:19,678 - That's fine... - I want you to taste it. 69 00:06:19,746 --> 00:06:22,909 Tell me if you think it's too, uh... 70 00:06:23,649 --> 00:06:25,810 ...too ingredient. 71 00:06:37,497 --> 00:06:39,522 [Straining] It's good. 72 00:06:40,767 --> 00:06:43,759 Really... it's really good. 73 00:06:46,305 --> 00:06:49,138 [Gasps] Think you should have peeled the apples first? 74 00:06:49,208 --> 00:06:52,439 No, see, that's where all your vitamins are. 75 00:06:54,614 --> 00:06:56,241 In the seeds, too? 76 00:06:56,315 --> 00:07:00,149 Well, Albert, you should know, you're the scientist. 77 00:07:02,221 --> 00:07:04,280 Katie... 78 00:07:04,357 --> 00:07:07,554 Now there must be some place... 79 00:07:07,627 --> 00:07:11,154 ...that we can cut down. Now, this bill from the dress shop... 80 00:07:11,230 --> 00:07:13,960 - I know where we can cut down. - Where? 81 00:07:14,033 --> 00:07:15,557 Your lunch money. 82 00:07:16,569 --> 00:07:18,867 - What? - Albert, it makes no sense. 83 00:07:18,938 --> 00:07:22,806 You're spending all that money when I could pack you a nice little lunch. 84 00:07:22,875 --> 00:07:24,342 Oh, no. 85 00:07:24,410 --> 00:07:27,436 Darling, that's too much bother for you to go to every morning. 86 00:07:27,513 --> 00:07:31,040 - To get up and cook me... - Please, what is a wife for? 87 00:07:31,117 --> 00:07:33,085 It's just a part of our marriage vows. 88 00:07:33,152 --> 00:07:35,586 To love and obey, till death do us in. 89 00:07:42,395 --> 00:07:44,886 [Chuckles] 90 00:07:44,964 --> 00:07:47,228 Thank you, darling. 91 00:08:01,581 --> 00:08:04,550 And don't tip your lunch, dear, the applesauce is on top. 92 00:08:09,188 --> 00:08:10,712 Bye, sweetie. 93 00:08:10,790 --> 00:08:13,884 Daddy, Eddie says this is my last chance. 94 00:08:13,960 --> 00:08:15,427 Your last chance for what, pal? 95 00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:17,622 - For Charlie. - Who? 96 00:08:17,697 --> 00:08:19,858 - The puppy. - [Katie] Jimmy. 97 00:08:19,932 --> 00:08:23,368 Don't bother your father. He's got little enough on his mind as it is. 98 00:08:27,039 --> 00:08:30,008 [Jimmy] Mr. Hooper next door, he has a dog. 99 00:08:30,076 --> 00:08:32,306 He can afford to feed it, it's a great big one. 100 00:08:32,378 --> 00:08:36,041 [Albert] Mr. Hooper works for the U.S. Treasury and they have all our money. 101 00:08:36,115 --> 00:08:38,583 He could afford a giraffe. 102 00:08:38,651 --> 00:08:41,882 - Finley. - Giraffe. 103 00:08:42,388 --> 00:08:44,447 [Car engine starts] 104 00:08:44,524 --> 00:08:45,548 Goodbye, pal. 105 00:08:50,530 --> 00:08:52,054 Oh, dear. 106 00:08:52,131 --> 00:08:56,397 I wish that fool professor made enough money so I could investigate him. 107 00:08:57,003 --> 00:08:57,992 [Coughing] 108 00:09:02,141 --> 00:09:04,041 [Honking] 109 00:09:10,449 --> 00:09:11,973 [Albert] Morning, Fred. 110 00:09:13,386 --> 00:09:15,684 [Brakes screeching] 111 00:09:23,696 --> 00:09:27,359 - Why don't you just drop a bomb on us? - It'd be a lot quicker. 112 00:09:27,433 --> 00:09:31,961 Don't blame us. It was you old cats who invented the internal combustion engine. 113 00:09:32,038 --> 00:09:33,562 Peace. 114 00:09:33,639 --> 00:09:35,732 [Tires screech] 115 00:09:38,110 --> 00:09:42,843 You're a lawyer. Can't we do something about those boys? Legal, preferably. 116 00:09:42,915 --> 00:09:46,078 Did you say legal or lethal? Either way, I'll take the case. 117 00:09:46,152 --> 00:09:48,643 I'll take any case, man. I need some rent money. 118 00:09:48,721 --> 00:09:50,382 You too, huh? 119 00:09:50,456 --> 00:09:53,584 Sometimes I wish I'd been born rich instead of brilliant. 120 00:10:00,933 --> 00:10:02,423 Morning. 121 00:10:09,241 --> 00:10:11,209 - Morning, group. - [Clucking] 122 00:10:12,178 --> 00:10:15,170 Velma. Awake and ready? 123 00:10:16,549 --> 00:10:18,642 - Arnold, wake up. - [Snorting] 124 00:10:18,718 --> 00:10:21,915 You two behave yourselves today. Now, Clyde... 125 00:10:21,988 --> 00:10:24,422 - You ready for a big day? - [Chattering] 126 00:10:24,490 --> 00:10:26,515 - Mr. Duck. - [Quacking] 127 00:10:29,695 --> 00:10:32,289 Are you gonna shape up today? Hmm? 128 00:10:32,365 --> 00:10:35,596 For me? Please? 129 00:10:35,668 --> 00:10:38,228 - [Quacks] - Good. 130 00:10:38,304 --> 00:10:43,037 If you flunk any more tests, you're gonna be a gone goose, understand? 131 00:10:46,112 --> 00:10:47,511 [Albert chuckles] 132 00:10:47,580 --> 00:10:52,279 Another drop-out performance, you'll have Dr. Gottlieb climbing the walls. 133 00:10:53,019 --> 00:10:55,954 He takes a dim view of any duck that doesn't know 134 00:10:56,022 --> 00:10:57,512 a yellow button from a red one. 135 00:11:05,564 --> 00:11:07,623 [Screeching] 136 00:11:11,470 --> 00:11:14,166 Clyde! What's the matter? 137 00:11:15,608 --> 00:11:17,439 You're eating the applesauce. 138 00:11:17,510 --> 00:11:19,603 You like it? 139 00:11:19,679 --> 00:11:22,443 I knew you were weird, but that's ridiculous. 140 00:11:24,417 --> 00:11:27,318 You must have got your share, too, huh? 141 00:11:27,386 --> 00:11:30,082 - I'll get you bicarb of soda. - [Gottlieb] Dooley! 142 00:11:31,357 --> 00:11:33,154 - Professor Dooley? - Yes? 143 00:11:33,225 --> 00:11:35,523 What are you doing? What about the tests? 144 00:11:35,594 --> 00:11:38,358 Do you realize how far back you're putting the schedule? 145 00:11:38,431 --> 00:11:40,899 - I'm sorry... - What's the matter with the chimp? 146 00:11:41,400 --> 00:11:45,336 - Uh, he's nervous. - Nervous? 147 00:11:45,404 --> 00:11:47,065 About the test, sir. 148 00:11:48,607 --> 00:11:50,507 Well, get on with it. 149 00:11:52,144 --> 00:11:54,271 - No duck. - What? 150 00:11:54,346 --> 00:11:56,541 - No duck. - But the schedule calls... 151 00:11:56,615 --> 00:11:58,947 - Revised. - I feel if we test him in... 152 00:11:59,018 --> 00:12:02,954 Do you know what the data is on the learning potential test for that... 153 00:12:03,022 --> 00:12:05,183 - Minus 11. - It might be a slow learner. 154 00:12:05,257 --> 00:12:07,384 - Slow? - [Albert] Yes, sir. 155 00:12:07,460 --> 00:12:09,428 This duck could shed some new light 156 00:12:09,495 --> 00:12:11,895 on the rates of learning of various animals. 157 00:12:11,964 --> 00:12:16,401 - All right, but it's his last chance. - Thank you, sir. 158 00:12:18,070 --> 00:12:19,560 Last! 159 00:12:20,439 --> 00:12:22,270 I understand. 160 00:12:22,341 --> 00:12:24,809 You hear that, chum? You gotta shape up or... 161 00:12:24,877 --> 00:12:29,576 You're gonna... You got applesauce all over your face. Come here. 162 00:12:31,851 --> 00:12:35,309 [Man] Took him ten seconds last time. Let's see if he'll do better. 163 00:12:35,421 --> 00:12:37,446 [Bell rings] 164 00:12:41,961 --> 00:12:43,690 Excellent. 165 00:12:44,930 --> 00:12:47,899 [Man] Well, Mr. Pig, what are you going to show us today? 166 00:12:52,071 --> 00:12:53,698 Beautiful. 167 00:12:57,109 --> 00:12:59,737 - Superb. - Superb. 168 00:13:01,180 --> 00:13:04,479 No, Dooley, that duck couldn't begin to handle these tests. 169 00:13:04,550 --> 00:13:06,108 Over here. 170 00:13:08,454 --> 00:13:11,287 Now this is the simplest device we've got. 171 00:13:11,357 --> 00:13:14,383 The duck has had 49 hours of practice on this one, 172 00:13:14,460 --> 00:13:16,894 so it's about time we see some results. 173 00:13:19,665 --> 00:13:23,795 [Albert] Okay, duck. Go for the yellow button, the center, the yellow button. 174 00:13:26,205 --> 00:13:28,730 He's got it now. 175 00:13:29,642 --> 00:13:30,631 [Ringing] 176 00:13:30,709 --> 00:13:33,007 Oh, come on. Get that stupid duck out of here. 177 00:13:33,078 --> 00:13:36,138 Wait a minute. Just one more time, sir. Just one more time. 178 00:13:36,215 --> 00:13:39,309 For what? He's useless. Completely unresponsive. 179 00:13:39,385 --> 00:13:42,411 All right, fella, once more. Yellow button, center. Center. 180 00:13:42,488 --> 00:13:45,889 You don't give up. There he goes for the red button again. 181 00:13:45,958 --> 00:13:47,755 No, no, he's got it now. He's going... 182 00:13:47,827 --> 00:13:49,488 [buzzer] 183 00:13:49,562 --> 00:13:51,928 [Barking] 184 00:13:57,469 --> 00:13:59,801 At least he's reacting. 185 00:13:59,872 --> 00:14:01,464 Oh, no. 186 00:14:08,247 --> 00:14:11,739 [Gottlieb] All right, Dooley. Get that misfit out of here. 187 00:14:11,817 --> 00:14:15,844 Dr. Gottlieb. You have to admit, that's a very interesting reaction. 188 00:14:15,921 --> 00:14:18,788 [Albert] I mean, this duck is a fascinating creature. 189 00:14:26,398 --> 00:14:29,765 Okay, Frisby, what have we got here? Gamma rays on, uh, what? 190 00:14:29,835 --> 00:14:33,032 Testing some new high resistance silicone oils. 191 00:14:33,105 --> 00:14:34,902 - [Man] Phenyl type? - [Frisby] Yeah. 192 00:14:34,974 --> 00:14:38,102 [Man] What is the estimated integrated threshold neutron flux? 193 00:14:38,177 --> 00:14:40,668 [Quacking] 194 00:14:41,146 --> 00:14:43,774 - What do you mean by that? - By what? 195 00:14:43,849 --> 00:14:46,181 Well, you said "quack." 196 00:14:46,252 --> 00:14:48,447 Hey, I didn't say "quack." 197 00:14:48,520 --> 00:14:50,488 [Quacking] 198 00:14:52,825 --> 00:14:54,452 [Man] Holy cow! 199 00:14:54,526 --> 00:14:56,494 [Static] 200 00:15:05,704 --> 00:15:07,296 Oh, Professor. 201 00:15:07,373 --> 00:15:10,365 - Is this one of your creatures? - Yes. How did she get in there? 202 00:15:10,442 --> 00:15:13,138 You tell me. You almost had fried duck. 203 00:15:13,212 --> 00:15:15,180 Is she okay? 204 00:15:15,247 --> 00:15:17,772 Oh, sure, no harm. Just, uh, got a little jolt. 205 00:15:17,850 --> 00:15:21,513 But in the future, would you please keep your friends out of our department? 206 00:15:21,587 --> 00:15:23,077 Yeah, okay. 207 00:15:24,456 --> 00:15:26,686 Boy, you really blew it today. 208 00:15:26,759 --> 00:15:29,728 Only thing to do now is find you a home for retired dropouts. 209 00:15:32,064 --> 00:15:34,624 - A duck? - Yeah. 210 00:15:34,700 --> 00:15:36,463 That's what it is. A duck. 211 00:15:40,773 --> 00:15:42,468 But I want a puppy. 212 00:15:42,541 --> 00:15:44,873 I don't want a dumb old duck. 213 00:15:44,944 --> 00:15:47,504 Look, pal, I didn't bring it home for a pet. 214 00:15:50,115 --> 00:15:52,015 Then why'd you bring it? 215 00:15:52,084 --> 00:15:54,917 It was either that or let the janitor's wife fricassee it. 216 00:15:54,987 --> 00:15:56,978 It was a total wash-out at the lab and... 217 00:15:57,056 --> 00:15:59,183 Wouldn't a puppy be just as cheap to feed? 218 00:15:59,258 --> 00:16:00,953 Darling, we're not gonna keep it. 219 00:16:01,026 --> 00:16:03,927 Well, he really had his heart set on a puppy. 220 00:16:03,996 --> 00:16:06,897 Katie, now, we've been through all of that. 221 00:16:06,966 --> 00:16:09,526 I'm just trying to find a home for this stupid duck. 222 00:16:09,601 --> 00:16:12,399 Maybe that farmer would take it, the one that comes around 223 00:16:12,471 --> 00:16:14,666 and sells us those vegetables I can't afford. 224 00:16:14,740 --> 00:16:17,174 - You mean Mr. Gilby? - Yeah, I guess so. 225 00:16:18,344 --> 00:16:20,369 Oh, now see, dear, you're mixed up. 226 00:16:20,446 --> 00:16:25,406 Mr. Gilby is the, uh, bakery truck man. Mr. Purdham is the vegetable man. 227 00:16:25,484 --> 00:16:28,009 Well, Purdham, okay. I mean, give it to him. 228 00:16:28,087 --> 00:16:30,078 It'll have a good home on his farm. 229 00:16:30,155 --> 00:16:33,647 - Probably eat better than we do. - [Jimmy] Hey, Daddy. 230 00:16:33,726 --> 00:16:37,355 I think he likes me. Watch how he follows me. 231 00:16:37,429 --> 00:16:40,398 Come on, boy. Come on. Come on. 232 00:16:40,466 --> 00:16:42,696 [Quacking] 233 00:16:45,771 --> 00:16:48,205 How would you like a real great name? 234 00:16:48,273 --> 00:16:51,071 Charlie. You like that, Charlie? 235 00:16:51,143 --> 00:16:52,337 [Quacking] 236 00:16:55,014 --> 00:16:57,482 Maybe I can teach him some tricks. 237 00:16:57,549 --> 00:16:59,949 Him? Good luck. 238 00:17:01,820 --> 00:17:04,152 Um, Albert? 239 00:17:04,323 --> 00:17:06,791 [Albert] Hmm? 240 00:17:06,859 --> 00:17:08,850 Uh, I was just thinking. 241 00:17:09,862 --> 00:17:10,988 Good for you. 242 00:17:11,063 --> 00:17:15,295 You know, uh, instead of giving that dumb old duck to Mr. Purdham, 243 00:17:15,367 --> 00:17:17,494 uh, maybe Jimmy could trade it in on a puppy. 244 00:17:17,569 --> 00:17:19,503 Now, Katie, we settled all that, okay? 245 00:17:19,571 --> 00:17:24,873 Yeah, I know, but it wouldn't cost you anything and it might help... 246 00:17:24,943 --> 00:17:27,002 Never mind. I shouldn't even mention it. 247 00:17:28,347 --> 00:17:30,747 - Mention what? - Oh, nothing. 248 00:17:33,585 --> 00:17:36,053 I'm sure you'll solve it. 249 00:17:38,624 --> 00:17:41,058 Okay, Katie, solve what? 250 00:17:41,727 --> 00:17:45,891 The generation gap you're creating between Jimmy over this puppy thing. 251 00:17:47,132 --> 00:17:49,623 Katie. 252 00:17:49,701 --> 00:17:52,329 Oh, come on, Katie. 253 00:17:52,404 --> 00:17:57,706 Honey, you know Jimmy and I have a very good, close relationship. 254 00:17:58,811 --> 00:18:01,302 Of course you do, Albert. 255 00:18:01,380 --> 00:18:03,974 That's why I didn't even mention it. 256 00:18:07,119 --> 00:18:09,280 [Jimmy] Daddy! Daddy, help! 257 00:18:09,988 --> 00:18:11,285 Help! 258 00:18:11,824 --> 00:18:13,485 Daddy, help! 259 00:18:13,559 --> 00:18:15,823 He's gonna kill Charlie. 260 00:18:15,894 --> 00:18:18,419 - What? - [Hooper] Gotcha. 261 00:18:20,199 --> 00:18:22,667 - Get out of here. - [Albert] Leave that duck alone. 262 00:18:22,734 --> 00:18:24,827 - Get out of my yard. - That's our duck. 263 00:18:24,903 --> 00:18:28,600 Well, get him out of my pool. Get your hands off my skimmer. 264 00:18:28,974 --> 00:18:31,204 - [Jimmy] Charlie! - Be careful. 265 00:18:31,276 --> 00:18:33,767 I got you now, you duck-billed intruder. 266 00:18:34,680 --> 00:18:35,874 [Quacking, barking] 267 00:18:35,948 --> 00:18:38,007 Get your hands off my skimmer. 268 00:18:39,351 --> 00:18:41,012 Attaboy, Charlie. 269 00:18:42,121 --> 00:18:43,952 [Katie] Albert! 270 00:18:45,157 --> 00:18:47,250 [Hooper] Duke, get that bird off our slide. 271 00:18:47,326 --> 00:18:48,793 Stop that dog! 272 00:18:50,229 --> 00:18:51,787 Go, Charlie, go. 273 00:18:51,864 --> 00:18:55,300 [Hooper] Bite him in the tail feathers. Don't let him get away from you. 274 00:18:56,835 --> 00:18:59,395 [Albert] Come here, duck. Come here, duck. 275 00:18:59,471 --> 00:19:02,099 If that dog lays a tooth on that duck... 276 00:19:06,712 --> 00:19:09,112 - [Albert] Take your skimmer... - Hooper, let go. 277 00:19:09,181 --> 00:19:11,308 [Albert] You're gonna drown him. 278 00:19:11,917 --> 00:19:13,475 Come here, duck. 279 00:19:13,552 --> 00:19:16,316 If you hit our duck, I'll report you to the sPCIA. 280 00:19:16,388 --> 00:19:17,616 Call your dog, Hooper. 281 00:19:19,057 --> 00:19:22,493 Get your duck out of the pool, he's contaminating it. 282 00:19:22,561 --> 00:19:24,153 [Everybody shouting] 283 00:19:24,763 --> 00:19:26,697 Oh. Oh! 284 00:19:27,599 --> 00:19:30,432 Get your dirty shoes out of my pool. 285 00:19:31,103 --> 00:19:32,627 [Katie] You hit my husband! 286 00:19:40,379 --> 00:19:42,973 Come here, Jimmy. Take the duck. 287 00:19:43,048 --> 00:19:44,640 Hurry. 288 00:19:46,752 --> 00:19:49,516 - Up the stairs, Duke. - [Katie] Come on, Albert, hurry. 289 00:19:49,588 --> 00:19:51,317 [Albert] Go on. 290 00:19:52,090 --> 00:19:54,081 [Albert] Hurry before the dog gets out. 291 00:19:54,793 --> 00:19:57,227 [Hooper] Duke, sic 'em. Sic 'em. 292 00:19:57,996 --> 00:20:01,261 Give 'em a good one. Get 'em, Duke. Sic 'em. 293 00:20:01,333 --> 00:20:03,392 [Barking] 294 00:20:11,944 --> 00:20:15,710 Finley, what are you doing in there with your clothes on? 295 00:20:15,781 --> 00:20:17,840 Can't leave you alone for a minute. 296 00:20:18,383 --> 00:20:20,283 [Grumbling] 297 00:20:24,256 --> 00:20:27,419 Look, Daddy. Charlie laid an egg. 298 00:20:29,728 --> 00:20:32,993 [Katie] Why, Charlie, you're a mama. 299 00:20:33,865 --> 00:20:35,833 [Barking] 300 00:20:39,705 --> 00:20:41,229 Twins. 301 00:20:50,515 --> 00:20:52,540 [Quacking] 302 00:20:52,618 --> 00:20:54,882 Four eggs, isn't that something? 303 00:20:54,953 --> 00:20:58,912 I don't see how she laid any eggs with that beast barking at her. 304 00:20:58,991 --> 00:21:01,926 [Stammering] It was that beast that caused her to do it. 305 00:21:01,994 --> 00:21:04,656 Albert, they hardly know each other. 306 00:21:05,297 --> 00:21:07,959 - No, no, I mean... - I know what you mean. 307 00:21:08,033 --> 00:21:10,501 Let's don't discuss it in front of our "s-o-n." 308 00:21:10,569 --> 00:21:13,333 Yeah, we learn all that stuff in school, anyway. 309 00:21:14,106 --> 00:21:16,870 No, no, no. It's a conditioned reflex. 310 00:21:16,942 --> 00:21:19,308 You see, when the dog barks, the duck lays an egg. 311 00:21:19,378 --> 00:21:21,846 I don't know why. It happened once at the lab. 312 00:21:21,913 --> 00:21:24,313 That's not the way my mother explained it to me. 313 00:21:25,550 --> 00:21:30,578 Anyway, the important thing is the money we'll save growing our own eggs. 314 00:21:32,190 --> 00:21:35,091 [Stammering] We're not eating those eggs. 315 00:21:36,194 --> 00:21:39,994 I mean, this duck is, uh... strange. 316 00:21:40,799 --> 00:21:42,198 Oh! 317 00:21:42,267 --> 00:21:46,465 - [Quacking] - Not that, it's an aberration. 318 00:21:46,538 --> 00:21:48,938 A biological mutation. 319 00:21:49,775 --> 00:21:51,606 - It is? - Yeah. 320 00:21:51,677 --> 00:21:53,770 That's a chemically mixed up duck. 321 00:21:53,845 --> 00:21:56,313 It's even been radiated and... 322 00:21:56,381 --> 00:21:58,144 We're not eating those eggs. 323 00:21:58,216 --> 00:22:01,083 Good, then we'll hatch them. Come on, Charlie. 324 00:22:01,153 --> 00:22:04,247 [Stammering] Is that all right? I mean, hatching them? 325 00:22:04,756 --> 00:22:08,248 Oh, no. Of course not. They probably wouldn't hatch, anyway. 326 00:22:08,327 --> 00:22:12,627 Only thing to do is bury them, which I'll do after Jimmy goes to sleep. 327 00:22:23,675 --> 00:22:25,336 [Sighs] 328 00:22:48,934 --> 00:22:50,196 [Fred] Albert? 329 00:22:51,303 --> 00:22:54,966 - What the devil you doing? - Nothing, nothing, nothing. 330 00:22:56,308 --> 00:22:59,038 Digging a hole at, uh, midnight 331 00:22:59,111 --> 00:23:03,172 in your pajamas is... nothing? 332 00:23:03,248 --> 00:23:05,808 You know, I'm digging, digging. 333 00:23:05,884 --> 00:23:09,285 - For what? - Night crawlers. 334 00:23:12,524 --> 00:23:14,219 Certainly lay big eggs. 335 00:23:15,460 --> 00:23:17,826 [Chuckles] 336 00:23:17,896 --> 00:23:19,625 Go to bed, Albert. 337 00:23:20,599 --> 00:23:22,089 You're a nut. 338 00:23:37,649 --> 00:23:39,844 [Gasps] 339 00:23:44,156 --> 00:23:46,056 [Gottlieb] Dooley? 340 00:23:46,124 --> 00:23:47,853 Yes? Yes, Dr. Gottlieb? 341 00:23:47,926 --> 00:23:51,828 - You wanted to see me? - Yes, a, uh, research problem. 342 00:23:51,897 --> 00:23:54,730 Oh, uh, come on, come on. 343 00:24:01,573 --> 00:24:05,236 [Gottlieb sighs] sit down, sit down. 344 00:24:07,446 --> 00:24:10,779 - Well? - Dr. Gottlieb, is it possible... 345 00:24:10,849 --> 00:24:12,840 In science, anything is possible. 346 00:24:12,918 --> 00:24:18,083 Yes, but could radiation alter the molecular structure of a... substance? 347 00:24:18,156 --> 00:24:21,250 From organic to inorganic? 348 00:24:21,326 --> 00:24:24,853 So, uh, we're a radio-biologist now, are we, Dooley? 349 00:24:24,930 --> 00:24:26,522 Just a minute. 350 00:24:27,999 --> 00:24:29,557 Yeah. 351 00:24:31,470 --> 00:24:33,597 Try these for starters. 352 00:24:33,672 --> 00:24:36,573 - All I wanted to know... - [Gottlieb] The answer is yes. 353 00:24:36,641 --> 00:24:38,438 But what substance? 354 00:24:39,878 --> 00:24:42,574 - Like an egg. - What kind of an egg? 355 00:24:43,448 --> 00:24:46,383 Doesn't... [sighs] 356 00:24:49,454 --> 00:24:51,388 - Chicken, turkey, duck? - Duck? 357 00:24:51,456 --> 00:24:54,220 - Please don't mention duck to me. - Sorry. 358 00:24:54,292 --> 00:24:56,351 Anyway, your experiment has been done. 359 00:24:56,428 --> 00:24:59,727 Um, 1903. 360 00:24:59,798 --> 00:25:03,063 It was, um... a young medical student 361 00:25:03,134 --> 00:25:06,695 at, um, the Royal Viennese Hospital. 362 00:25:06,771 --> 00:25:10,571 His name was, um, schultz or Schmaltz... 363 00:25:10,642 --> 00:25:12,769 Oh, here. [laughs] Schwartz. 364 00:25:13,378 --> 00:25:16,973 In... In searching for a chemical background 365 00:25:17,048 --> 00:25:19,516 for radiogenic inflammation from radium, 366 00:25:19,584 --> 00:25:24,248 Gottwald Schwartz exposed an egg to becquerel rays. 367 00:25:24,322 --> 00:25:28,190 Both the organic and inorganic molecules suffered a change, you see? 368 00:25:28,260 --> 00:25:29,693 Yes, yes, yes. 369 00:25:29,761 --> 00:25:32,662 There was no change in the white of the egg. 370 00:25:32,731 --> 00:25:35,359 But there was conspicuous change in the yolk. 371 00:25:35,433 --> 00:25:37,298 Yolk, that's it. That's it. 372 00:25:44,743 --> 00:25:47,712 I mean, that's [clears throat] Quite interesting. 373 00:25:48,914 --> 00:25:50,882 Didn't, uh... 374 00:25:52,083 --> 00:25:54,813 ...change it into any kind of, uh... 375 00:25:54,886 --> 00:25:56,376 ...metal, did it? 376 00:25:57,789 --> 00:25:59,347 Metal? 377 00:26:01,226 --> 00:26:03,456 What do you want, Dooley, gold? 378 00:26:10,569 --> 00:26:12,730 Well, you said anything was possible. 379 00:26:12,804 --> 00:26:15,796 Possible, yes. But... 380 00:26:16,641 --> 00:26:18,575 ...making a golden egg? 381 00:26:21,780 --> 00:26:25,307 - That's for Aesop's Fables, isn't it? - Yes, yes. 382 00:26:25,383 --> 00:26:29,877 But, uh, gold has been made, uh, synthetically, hasn't it? 383 00:26:29,955 --> 00:26:33,891 Yes, with nuclear bombardment, but... 384 00:26:33,959 --> 00:26:37,451 ...we know what that costs, don't we? It doesn't pay. 385 00:26:38,830 --> 00:26:41,162 - [Phone rings] - Excuse me. 386 00:26:44,069 --> 00:26:47,197 [Gottlieb] Dr. Gottlieb. I'll be right there. 387 00:26:48,239 --> 00:26:49,297 Excuse me. 388 00:26:49,641 --> 00:26:53,737 Uh, I have to go recheck the IQ of the chimp. [chuckles] 389 00:26:55,046 --> 00:26:58,538 Hundred and forty. Higher than mine. 390 00:27:27,212 --> 00:27:29,612 We've run quite a few tests on that metal of yours. 391 00:27:29,681 --> 00:27:31,740 - Yes... - Darndest thing we ever ran across. 392 00:27:31,816 --> 00:27:34,114 - But is it... - You won't believe this report. 393 00:27:34,185 --> 00:27:35,777 It's... Well, it's wild. 394 00:27:35,854 --> 00:27:37,719 - Then it's not... - Look here, Dooley. 395 00:27:37,789 --> 00:27:41,623 The metal contains traces of D-Galacturonic acid. 396 00:27:41,693 --> 00:27:43,524 Now, isn't that wild? 397 00:27:44,562 --> 00:27:48,259 - Do you know what that is? It's pectin. - Pectin? 398 00:27:48,333 --> 00:27:51,268 Pectin that's been hydrolyzed under intense heat. 399 00:27:51,336 --> 00:27:54,032 Pectin comes from apple peelings. 400 00:27:56,408 --> 00:27:57,932 Applesauce. 401 00:27:58,009 --> 00:28:01,172 No, no, it's true. And look, it also has a trace of garlic in it. 402 00:28:01,246 --> 00:28:03,806 I don't want to hear any more, as long as it's not gold. 403 00:28:03,882 --> 00:28:06,282 What do you mean? It's practically pure gold. 404 00:28:07,118 --> 00:28:10,747 - What? - It has some weird impurities in it. 405 00:28:10,822 --> 00:28:14,121 There's one element we can't even identify. Not related to any of... 406 00:28:14,192 --> 00:28:16,956 - Pure gold. ...the 103 known chemical elements. 407 00:28:17,028 --> 00:28:19,519 Now, Mr. Dooley, you didn't, um... 408 00:28:19,597 --> 00:28:22,725 You didn't get hold of a moon rock, did you? 409 00:28:22,801 --> 00:28:26,532 Moon rock? Me? No, no, no. I've never even been out of California. 410 00:28:26,604 --> 00:28:30,370 - Where'd you dig up this gold? - Dig? I didn't dig. 411 00:28:30,709 --> 00:28:32,768 - A plaster deposit? - Well, yes... 412 00:28:32,844 --> 00:28:35,404 It was deposited, you might say. Thank you very much. 413 00:28:35,480 --> 00:28:38,176 Wait, don't you want your report? You paid for it. 414 00:28:38,249 --> 00:28:39,739 Oh, yes. Yes. 415 00:28:41,019 --> 00:28:42,987 Report, thank you very much. 416 00:28:46,624 --> 00:28:49,184 So, this is an assayer's report, so what? 417 00:28:49,260 --> 00:28:51,125 So, that's why I need a lawyer. 418 00:28:51,196 --> 00:28:54,495 - To help me incorporate. - Incorporate what? 419 00:28:54,566 --> 00:28:58,559 Fred, that sample is the yolk of a duck egg. 420 00:29:00,105 --> 00:29:01,697 Oh, come on, Albert. 421 00:29:01,773 --> 00:29:05,072 I know how incredible this must sound to your legal, pragmatic mind, 422 00:29:05,143 --> 00:29:07,737 but in 1903, a Viennese scientist... 423 00:29:08,713 --> 00:29:11,511 You ever read Aesop's Fables? One about the goose? 424 00:29:11,583 --> 00:29:14,177 Do you think you ought to be driving in your condition? 425 00:29:14,252 --> 00:29:17,710 I'm telling you, Fred, that fable may be scientifically feasible. 426 00:29:17,789 --> 00:29:19,484 All right. Pull over, I'll drive. 427 00:29:19,557 --> 00:29:21,787 Okay, skeptic. 428 00:29:21,860 --> 00:29:25,660 I'm going to show you one of those gold eggs actually being laid. 429 00:29:32,437 --> 00:29:34,302 - [Brakes screech] - Watch it, Albert. 430 00:29:36,808 --> 00:29:39,606 You crazy ding-a-ling driver, Orlo! 431 00:29:39,677 --> 00:29:43,909 Orlo! I'm not even in the car. That's Arvin. Bigot. 432 00:29:46,618 --> 00:29:49,246 Now you just lie there and relax 433 00:29:49,320 --> 00:29:52,483 and forget all about that nasty, old Treasury office. 434 00:29:52,557 --> 00:29:55,458 Thank you, dear. You're a good person. 435 00:29:59,597 --> 00:30:01,656 [Engine revving, popping] 436 00:30:03,168 --> 00:30:05,033 [Albert] Come on, Fred. 437 00:30:05,870 --> 00:30:07,599 [Grunts] 438 00:30:08,339 --> 00:30:11,672 I'll get the duck, make Hooper's dog bark at it and you'll see. 439 00:30:11,743 --> 00:30:14,576 Albert, I'm glad you're home. Go upstairs and talk to Jim. 440 00:30:14,646 --> 00:30:18,047 Not now. I've got news for you. Our financial worries are over. 441 00:30:18,116 --> 00:30:20,448 He's broken-hearted because I was trying... 442 00:30:20,518 --> 00:30:24,147 You're not listening. We're going to be rich. Beyond our wildest dreams. 443 00:30:24,222 --> 00:30:26,520 Oh, honey, I always knew you'd make good. 444 00:30:26,591 --> 00:30:30,049 Even when Papa kept saying, "Don't marry that no-good, lazy, you-know." 445 00:30:30,128 --> 00:30:32,153 It's nothing I did. It's Charlie. 446 00:30:32,230 --> 00:30:34,562 Remember those eggs I was going to bury? 447 00:30:34,632 --> 00:30:38,124 Brace yourself. They're gold. 448 00:30:46,144 --> 00:30:49,875 Uh... Don't look that way. I'm not kidding you. It's true. 449 00:30:49,948 --> 00:30:51,813 Oh, Albert, I believe you. 450 00:30:51,883 --> 00:30:55,375 - What's the matter? - I gave the duck to Mr. Purdham. 451 00:30:56,554 --> 00:30:58,681 - [Mumbles] - Albert, you told me to. 452 00:30:58,756 --> 00:30:59,916 [Mumbles] 453 00:30:59,991 --> 00:31:02,357 I was sorry I did, because Jimmy's been crying... 454 00:31:02,427 --> 00:31:04,327 No, no, no. 455 00:31:04,729 --> 00:31:07,994 - Oh! Where does Purdham live? - I'm not sure. 456 00:31:08,066 --> 00:31:10,364 - Think, think, think. - I am! 457 00:31:10,435 --> 00:31:11,959 Oh, I'm trying. 458 00:31:12,036 --> 00:31:13,663 Uh, uh, uh... 459 00:31:13,738 --> 00:31:16,832 - Where does Purdham live? - Try the cookie jar. 460 00:31:16,908 --> 00:31:19,468 - The cookie jar? - That's where I keep my addresses. 461 00:31:20,979 --> 00:31:23,106 We've got to find that duck, 462 00:31:23,181 --> 00:31:26,014 before anything happens to him. 463 00:31:26,784 --> 00:31:28,752 [Albert] Chicken chow mein. 464 00:31:31,122 --> 00:31:34,990 Purdham. Purdham. Oak Road. Come on. 465 00:31:37,662 --> 00:31:39,186 [Albert] Get in the car, Fred. 466 00:31:43,968 --> 00:31:45,367 [Engine revving] 467 00:31:47,105 --> 00:31:48,572 [Jimmy] Hey, Daddy, wait. 468 00:31:59,417 --> 00:32:03,046 Well, look, I'll, uh... Guess I could... 469 00:32:05,690 --> 00:32:07,590 ...give you five dollars for it. 470 00:32:07,659 --> 00:32:11,561 Well, I know I never turn down a good deal. 471 00:32:11,629 --> 00:32:14,496 You'll find the duck in the pen, back of the barn yonder. 472 00:32:14,565 --> 00:32:16,260 Thanks. 473 00:32:23,508 --> 00:32:25,203 Hello, Mr. Purdham. 474 00:32:25,276 --> 00:32:27,369 [Quacking] 475 00:32:28,479 --> 00:32:31,915 [Albert] Oh, no. There's got to be a million of them. 476 00:32:36,955 --> 00:32:39,048 [Jimmy] Charlie. 477 00:32:40,124 --> 00:32:42,183 Charlie. 478 00:32:42,527 --> 00:32:45,894 Charlie. Charlie. 479 00:32:46,864 --> 00:32:50,356 Charlie. Where are you, Charlie? 480 00:32:51,769 --> 00:32:53,202 This is getting us no place. 481 00:32:53,271 --> 00:32:57,105 This duck doesn't respond to normal things, like its name. 482 00:33:00,578 --> 00:33:04,139 - You know what we need? - A good psychiatrist. 483 00:33:04,215 --> 00:33:05,978 - No. - [Calling for Charlie] 484 00:33:06,050 --> 00:33:09,110 We need something it does respond to. 485 00:33:09,187 --> 00:33:10,814 Start barking, Fred. 486 00:33:11,589 --> 00:33:14,615 It's our only chance, Fred. Bark. 487 00:33:14,926 --> 00:33:16,951 [Barking] 488 00:33:23,835 --> 00:33:26,235 Wait a minute. What am I doing? 489 00:33:26,304 --> 00:33:28,135 A sane adult, with a law degree 490 00:33:28,206 --> 00:33:30,606 crawling around a barnyard, barking at fowls? 491 00:33:30,675 --> 00:33:33,508 Trying to find some stupid duck who lays solid gold... 492 00:33:33,578 --> 00:33:36,979 solid gold eggs! 493 00:33:39,350 --> 00:33:42,012 I'll never see Charlie again. 494 00:33:42,086 --> 00:33:44,782 Come on, we're not going to give up till we're licked. 495 00:33:44,856 --> 00:33:46,915 We'll find him. Charlie? 496 00:33:50,695 --> 00:33:53,027 [Barking, quacking] 497 00:33:54,465 --> 00:33:56,729 [Katie calling Charlie] 498 00:34:03,341 --> 00:34:05,070 Hey, where you going? 499 00:34:06,277 --> 00:34:08,472 They're getting away from us! 500 00:34:10,715 --> 00:34:12,580 Come on, Fred. 501 00:34:13,851 --> 00:34:15,785 Whoa, whoa. Come back. 502 00:34:17,555 --> 00:34:20,319 Get back here. Go back, ducks. 503 00:34:21,225 --> 00:34:23,557 - They're getting into the pond. - Head them off. 504 00:34:23,628 --> 00:34:25,994 Back, you ducks! Get back! 505 00:34:26,064 --> 00:34:28,862 Get them out of the water. Get them back on the shore. 506 00:34:31,102 --> 00:34:33,332 Here, here. What's going on? 507 00:34:33,404 --> 00:34:37,170 - You said only one duck. - Something happened to the gate and... 508 00:34:37,241 --> 00:34:39,471 And get these critters back in the pen. 509 00:34:39,544 --> 00:34:42,035 - [Katie] Get back. - [Purdham] Back, back. 510 00:34:42,113 --> 00:34:44,047 - [Barking] - Back, back. 511 00:34:50,221 --> 00:34:52,052 Charlie. 512 00:34:52,290 --> 00:34:55,657 Charlie! Oh, Charlie! 513 00:34:55,927 --> 00:35:00,159 Daddy, I found him! I found Charlie. 514 00:35:03,601 --> 00:35:07,162 Hey, wait. Come back, help me. 515 00:35:10,274 --> 00:35:13,004 - I knew I'd find her. - You sure it's her, son? 516 00:35:13,077 --> 00:35:15,773 I know it is. It's Charlie. 517 00:35:15,847 --> 00:35:19,749 Well, there's one way to find out. Hold her on the ground, Fred. 518 00:35:25,123 --> 00:35:27,523 Maybe only Hooper's dog can do it. 519 00:35:28,860 --> 00:35:30,657 No reflection on you, dear. 520 00:35:31,529 --> 00:35:34,020 [Barking] 521 00:35:37,268 --> 00:35:40,726 Why, Albert, you don't sound like Hooper's dog at all. 522 00:35:40,805 --> 00:35:42,705 Uh, he goes more like... 523 00:35:42,773 --> 00:35:45,503 [barking] 524 00:35:45,576 --> 00:35:49,512 Hey, I think she's got it. Pitch. 525 00:35:49,580 --> 00:35:51,605 Pitch. It might be a matter of pitch. 526 00:35:54,819 --> 00:35:57,014 [Ding] 527 00:36:05,730 --> 00:36:08,790 Come on. Yeah, Charlie. 528 00:36:20,478 --> 00:36:22,275 What do you think now, skeptic? 529 00:36:22,346 --> 00:36:24,541 Baby, 530 00:36:24,615 --> 00:36:27,277 you're looking at a believer. 531 00:36:28,085 --> 00:36:30,610 Figuring it's weight in troy ounces, 532 00:36:30,688 --> 00:36:32,986 at the pegged gold price, 533 00:36:33,891 --> 00:36:36,291 that's over 900 bucks a yolk. 534 00:36:36,360 --> 00:36:37,452 That's right. 535 00:36:37,528 --> 00:36:40,224 If she laid four eggs in, how long did you say? 536 00:36:40,965 --> 00:36:44,662 - About ten minutes. - Uh, that would be... 537 00:36:45,636 --> 00:36:48,662 ...over 20,000 dollars an hour. 538 00:36:48,739 --> 00:36:51,640 And if she worked a six-hour day, uh, 539 00:36:51,709 --> 00:36:54,041 give or take a couple of coffee breaks, uh, 540 00:36:54,111 --> 00:36:56,636 corn breaks. 541 00:36:56,714 --> 00:36:58,978 Al, baby! 542 00:36:59,050 --> 00:37:01,848 We're talking about a 100,000 dollar a day business. 543 00:37:01,919 --> 00:37:05,377 That's right. If I can find the formula to keep her producing. 544 00:37:05,456 --> 00:37:08,357 Oh, you'll do it. You'll do it. 545 00:37:08,426 --> 00:37:12,294 The big problem is, how do we legally protect our fortune? 546 00:37:12,363 --> 00:37:17,323 "Our" fortune? What do you mean, "our" fortune? 547 00:37:17,401 --> 00:37:20,632 Look, Al, sweetheart, 548 00:37:20,705 --> 00:37:22,900 I'm only trying to save you money. 549 00:37:22,974 --> 00:37:27,001 By making me a partner, you'll save all those exorbitant lawyer's fees. 550 00:37:27,078 --> 00:37:29,876 - Uh-huh. - I'll have to devote full time, 551 00:37:29,947 --> 00:37:31,710 figuring how to incorporate a duck, 552 00:37:31,782 --> 00:37:34,216 and not have the internal revenuers on our neck. 553 00:37:34,285 --> 00:37:36,845 I got your clothes all nice and dry for you. 554 00:37:36,921 --> 00:37:38,286 Oh, fine. 555 00:37:39,757 --> 00:37:42,191 How did you manage to do this, Katie? 556 00:37:42,260 --> 00:37:43,989 Oh, it was no trouble, really. 557 00:37:44,061 --> 00:37:46,052 Thanks. 558 00:37:46,464 --> 00:37:49,490 Anyway, the thing to do is sit tight until I figure things out. 559 00:37:49,567 --> 00:37:52,161 And don't tell anybody about this, especially, uh... 560 00:37:52,236 --> 00:37:54,033 - Hooper? - Right. 561 00:37:54,105 --> 00:37:57,370 We don't want that government stool pigeon snooping around. 562 00:37:58,209 --> 00:38:01,576 The first thing I'm going to do is get rid of that junk heap I'm driving. 563 00:38:01,646 --> 00:38:04,376 I saw the most fantastic yellow sports car. 564 00:38:04,448 --> 00:38:05,915 Hold it. 565 00:38:05,983 --> 00:38:08,713 - Don't spend any of that money yet. - What? 566 00:38:08,786 --> 00:38:11,016 Make no changes in your living standards. 567 00:38:11,088 --> 00:38:13,886 - You mean not pay our bills? - Bills, fine. 568 00:38:13,958 --> 00:38:18,327 But we can't risk raising suspicions until we get this legally protected. 569 00:38:19,230 --> 00:38:22,131 Now, let's try and get some sleep. 570 00:38:23,834 --> 00:38:25,495 Or, uh... 571 00:38:26,237 --> 00:38:30,139 ...do you think we ought to get the duck and bark out a few more thou? 572 00:38:30,207 --> 00:38:33,643 No, the duck's asleep with Jimmy and I don't want Jimmy disturbed. 573 00:38:33,711 --> 00:38:34,871 And, Fred... 574 00:38:34,945 --> 00:38:38,904 Don't forget to bring my robe back. That's not part of the deal. 575 00:38:38,983 --> 00:38:40,507 Okay. 576 00:38:40,584 --> 00:38:42,142 Partner. 577 00:38:52,897 --> 00:38:54,125 [Katie] Albert. 578 00:38:54,198 --> 00:38:57,827 Do you think maybe now we could afford to re-shingle our house? 579 00:39:00,137 --> 00:39:02,230 Re-shingle our house? 580 00:39:02,673 --> 00:39:05,107 We could re-shingle the Pentagon. 581 00:39:05,176 --> 00:39:06,973 We could buy the Pentagon. 582 00:39:07,044 --> 00:39:10,207 Well... what would we do with it? 583 00:39:11,182 --> 00:39:13,810 I'm only trying to give you an idea of our potential. 584 00:39:13,884 --> 00:39:16,819 We have what other men have only dreamed of. 585 00:39:18,356 --> 00:39:21,883 - It's kind of scary, isn't it? - You bet it is. 586 00:39:22,159 --> 00:39:25,185 Albert, just how rich will we be? 587 00:39:25,262 --> 00:39:28,993 So rich that we could not possibly spend it all. 588 00:39:29,066 --> 00:39:31,034 - We could try. - Now wait a minute. 589 00:39:31,102 --> 00:39:34,697 - I just want to help all I can. - Fine, but let's not get carried away. 590 00:39:34,772 --> 00:39:36,637 We must keep our sense of values. 591 00:39:36,707 --> 00:39:39,175 Aesop's fable warns us against avarice. 592 00:39:39,243 --> 00:39:42,144 - Against who? - Greed, greed. 593 00:39:42,213 --> 00:39:44,443 The fellow in the fable let greed destroy him. 594 00:39:44,515 --> 00:39:47,973 We won't do that. We're gonna play it cool, keep our feet on the ground. 595 00:39:48,052 --> 00:39:50,577 - Albert? - Hmm? 596 00:39:52,089 --> 00:39:53,351 What? 597 00:39:56,927 --> 00:40:01,193 Let's take our cool feet... and go to bed. 598 00:40:03,768 --> 00:40:05,793 Okay, honey. 599 00:40:23,754 --> 00:40:25,278 Cute. 600 00:40:26,157 --> 00:40:28,955 I think you ought to close the window. He might catch cold. 601 00:40:29,026 --> 00:40:31,620 Oh. Oh, right. 602 00:40:59,924 --> 00:41:01,915 Good idea. 603 00:41:19,210 --> 00:41:20,643 Now what? 604 00:41:21,245 --> 00:41:23,839 Some sense of values. 605 00:41:24,348 --> 00:41:26,839 What do you mean? 606 00:41:26,917 --> 00:41:29,477 Boy, he sure was right. 607 00:41:31,055 --> 00:41:34,218 - Who was? - You know. 608 00:41:40,531 --> 00:41:41,793 I do? 609 00:41:41,866 --> 00:41:44,130 Aesop. 610 00:41:48,272 --> 00:41:50,797 [Katie] Jimmy, your lunch. 611 00:41:53,777 --> 00:41:56,803 Be sure and take good care of Charlie while I'm gone, Mom. 612 00:41:56,881 --> 00:41:59,076 Don't worry, I will. Now, run along. 613 00:42:00,818 --> 00:42:03,082 And don't let Mr. Hooper's dog get him, either. 614 00:42:03,153 --> 00:42:06,145 Will you hurry up? You're gonna be late for school, goodbye. 615 00:42:07,458 --> 00:42:08,720 [Telephone rings] 616 00:42:17,401 --> 00:42:19,460 Yes. Who? 617 00:42:22,640 --> 00:42:25,200 Oh, uh, the bank. 618 00:42:25,276 --> 00:42:27,540 Well, hi. 619 00:42:28,746 --> 00:42:30,270 Bad checks? 620 00:42:30,347 --> 00:42:34,977 Uh, uh, well, you printed them. 621 00:42:36,153 --> 00:42:39,611 Oh, now, how could a big bank like you 622 00:42:39,690 --> 00:42:42,158 have insufficient funds and stay in business? 623 00:42:42,226 --> 00:42:46,856 No, Mrs. Dooley. Not us, you. We've explained several times 624 00:42:46,931 --> 00:42:50,298 that you cannot write checks for more money than you have in the bank. 625 00:42:50,367 --> 00:42:52,392 [On phone] You could be arrested for that. 626 00:42:52,469 --> 00:42:53,936 Oh, no. Please don't. 627 00:42:54,004 --> 00:42:57,565 Please, don't call Mr. Dooley. I can get the money somehow. 628 00:42:58,042 --> 00:43:00,704 [Stammering] Hold on the phone, just a minute. 629 00:43:14,124 --> 00:43:16,319 [Barking, quacking] 630 00:43:30,040 --> 00:43:32,531 Mr. Meaker, I, uh... 631 00:43:32,610 --> 00:43:35,340 I guess you'll just have to call my husband about that... 632 00:43:35,412 --> 00:43:37,312 [ding] 633 00:43:38,015 --> 00:43:39,482 Oh, wait. Wait. 634 00:43:39,550 --> 00:43:42,678 Uh, I'll be right down. 635 00:43:45,089 --> 00:43:47,717 And what is this, Mrs. Dooley? 636 00:43:47,791 --> 00:43:50,316 I'm overdrawn and that's to un-overdraw me. 637 00:43:51,161 --> 00:43:54,528 Yes, you are overdrawn. 638 00:43:54,598 --> 00:43:57,431 But, what is this thing? 639 00:43:58,068 --> 00:44:00,832 Thing? That's gold. 640 00:44:00,904 --> 00:44:04,704 Worth over 900 troy ounce dollars. 641 00:44:04,775 --> 00:44:06,640 And that's my deposit slip for it. 642 00:44:06,710 --> 00:44:09,110 You recognize that, don't you? 643 00:44:09,179 --> 00:44:11,010 One moment, please. 644 00:44:15,552 --> 00:44:17,952 [Phone rings] 645 00:44:32,503 --> 00:44:33,993 [Clears throat] 646 00:44:38,008 --> 00:44:40,704 - Next, please. - This way, please. 647 00:44:40,778 --> 00:44:43,474 What kind of a bank is this, anyway? 648 00:44:53,023 --> 00:44:55,014 Sit down. 649 00:44:58,495 --> 00:45:00,156 Mrs. Dooley, 650 00:45:00,230 --> 00:45:03,791 we can hardly take a trinket for a deposit. 651 00:45:03,867 --> 00:45:07,701 Trinket? Haven't you bankers ever heard of gold? 652 00:45:07,771 --> 00:45:12,470 Mrs. Dooley, even if that were gold bouillon there's nothing... 653 00:45:12,543 --> 00:45:13,532 Bouillon? 654 00:45:13,610 --> 00:45:16,773 Processed gold as distinguished from raw gold. 655 00:45:16,847 --> 00:45:20,647 The only thing we can do with this is turn it over to the Federal Reserve. 656 00:45:20,718 --> 00:45:23,778 That wouldn't do very much for your account now, would it? 657 00:45:23,854 --> 00:45:26,687 Well, I should say not. I'll just take it to another bank. 658 00:45:26,757 --> 00:45:29,487 They'll have to do the same thing. 659 00:45:29,560 --> 00:45:33,257 The only possible place you could take that is to a refinery. 660 00:45:33,330 --> 00:45:35,560 Refinery? 661 00:45:51,148 --> 00:45:54,015 - Hi. - Hi, honey. 662 00:45:55,018 --> 00:45:57,851 - Where'd you get the hat? - What hat? 663 00:45:58,622 --> 00:46:02,251 Oh, now Albert, it was on sale. 664 00:46:02,326 --> 00:46:05,887 You know, if you wrote a check for that hat, we're overdrawn again. 665 00:46:05,963 --> 00:46:09,364 No, we're not. I deposited over 900 dollars today. 666 00:46:11,835 --> 00:46:14,770 - Where did you get 900 dollars? - From the refinery. 667 00:46:16,206 --> 00:46:18,697 - You haven't been in the eggs? - No, not those. 668 00:46:18,776 --> 00:46:20,744 Charlie laid one for me. 669 00:46:24,982 --> 00:46:28,782 - Why did you take it to the refinery? - Well, the bank told me to. 670 00:46:28,852 --> 00:46:30,945 The bank! 671 00:46:31,021 --> 00:46:34,457 You took it to the... Did you tell the newspapers, too? 672 00:46:35,359 --> 00:46:37,350 Well, no, Albert, just the bank. 673 00:46:37,427 --> 00:46:40,453 They told me if I didn't cover my bad checks I would be arrested. 674 00:46:40,531 --> 00:46:42,795 - Would you rather I got arrested? - No, no, no. 675 00:46:44,034 --> 00:46:46,832 Some husband, he wants his wife in jail. 676 00:46:46,904 --> 00:46:50,670 Didn't you hear Fred say not to tell anybody and not to spend the money? 677 00:46:50,741 --> 00:46:53,505 Yes, but what's the use of having it? 678 00:46:55,078 --> 00:46:57,171 - Hi, partners. - Don't tell him what I did. 679 00:46:57,247 --> 00:46:59,715 - What did she do? - I sold an egg to a refinery. 680 00:46:59,783 --> 00:47:01,876 - Good. - What? 681 00:47:01,952 --> 00:47:05,183 That's all we can do because we don't have a license to handle gold. 682 00:47:05,255 --> 00:47:07,280 - Well, then get us a license. - Oh, sure. 683 00:47:07,357 --> 00:47:10,019 Can you see going to the U.s. Treasury Dept. And saying, 684 00:47:10,093 --> 00:47:13,654 "I'd like a gold license for my little ducky who lays gold eggs." 685 00:47:13,730 --> 00:47:16,130 - I see what you mean. - Couldn't Hooper help you? 686 00:47:16,200 --> 00:47:18,600 - He works for the U.s. Treasury. - Hooper? 687 00:47:18,669 --> 00:47:21,763 He'd confiscate our duck so fast, it'd singe its feathers off. 688 00:47:21,839 --> 00:47:24,637 Right now, you've got to get all the gold off the premises. 689 00:47:24,708 --> 00:47:26,676 - Why? - Federal gold regulations. 690 00:47:26,743 --> 00:47:29,541 You could get ten years in the jug for hoarding. Read this. 691 00:47:31,582 --> 00:47:34,813 We'll have to think up a good story to tell the refineries. 692 00:47:34,885 --> 00:47:35,874 Why? 693 00:47:37,154 --> 00:47:39,622 You go around trying to peddle gold duck eggs, 694 00:47:39,690 --> 00:47:41,487 they'll lock you up in the nut farm. 695 00:47:41,558 --> 00:47:43,924 I did it and they didn't lock me up. 696 00:47:43,994 --> 00:47:45,962 Yes, but you're... 697 00:47:47,130 --> 00:47:48,825 Wait a minute. 698 00:47:48,899 --> 00:47:51,527 You didn't tell them where the gold came from, did you? 699 00:47:52,502 --> 00:47:54,868 - Well, he asked me. - Oh, no. 700 00:47:55,505 --> 00:47:57,803 Now the whole world will be after that duck. 701 00:47:57,875 --> 00:48:02,437 - What did he say when you told him? - Nothing, he just laughed. 702 00:48:02,512 --> 00:48:04,537 - He laughed? - Uh-huh. 703 00:48:06,350 --> 00:48:09,183 He just... laughed? 704 00:48:10,020 --> 00:48:12,386 [Chuckling] 705 00:48:12,956 --> 00:48:15,117 Do you hear that, Albert? He just laughed. 706 00:48:15,192 --> 00:48:17,888 Don't you see? She solved our whole problem. 707 00:48:17,961 --> 00:48:20,828 She can tell them the truth and they'll never believe it. 708 00:48:20,898 --> 00:48:23,833 And they won't lock her up, no matter how nutty it sounds. 709 00:48:23,901 --> 00:48:27,894 - Now, listen, sweetheart... - I'm not so sure I want my wife... 710 00:48:29,206 --> 00:48:31,504 - What is that, Fred? A new suit? - [Scoffs] 711 00:48:31,575 --> 00:48:34,635 Now, listen sweetheart, here's a list of refineries. 712 00:48:34,711 --> 00:48:36,702 Now don't sell too many eggs at one time. 713 00:48:36,780 --> 00:48:40,375 - Okay. - You got a new briefcase, too. 714 00:48:40,450 --> 00:48:42,145 It's nothing, Al, baby. 715 00:48:42,219 --> 00:48:43,743 Keep moving around. 716 00:48:43,820 --> 00:48:46,687 It might look suspicious unloading too many at one place. 717 00:48:46,757 --> 00:48:48,554 Got it. 718 00:48:48,625 --> 00:48:51,253 Listen, could I buy some new clothes to wear for this? 719 00:48:51,328 --> 00:48:54,297 Oh, no. No, no, no. 720 00:48:56,233 --> 00:48:58,633 We mustn't spend the money. 721 00:49:06,677 --> 00:49:09,305 - [Man] Mrs. Dooley? - Yes. Yes. 722 00:49:11,949 --> 00:49:14,509 This is exceptionally high grade ore. 723 00:49:14,584 --> 00:49:16,575 Our cashier's making a check out for you. 724 00:49:16,653 --> 00:49:18,951 - Thank you. - These, um... 725 00:49:19,022 --> 00:49:21,081 These nuggets are very interesting. 726 00:49:21,158 --> 00:49:23,422 All seem to be the identical size and shape. 727 00:49:23,493 --> 00:49:27,657 - Yes, I noticed that. - I was curious how they got that way. 728 00:49:28,198 --> 00:49:31,133 Would you believe a duck laid them? 729 00:49:32,502 --> 00:49:34,834 - A duck laid them. - [Laughs] 730 00:49:38,642 --> 00:49:41,440 - What kind of duck was that? - A white one. 731 00:49:41,511 --> 00:49:43,911 A white one. Little, white duck. 732 00:49:45,115 --> 00:49:47,140 - Thank you. There you are. - Thank you. 733 00:49:47,217 --> 00:49:50,152 [Stammering] Mrs. Dooley, listen, about these nuggets... 734 00:49:50,220 --> 00:49:52,814 I really have to dash. Bye-bye. 735 00:49:52,889 --> 00:49:57,189 - We don't have your address. - That's all right. I have it. 736 00:50:13,243 --> 00:50:16,940 Hello, Treasury Department? This is Carter, down at Alco. 737 00:50:17,014 --> 00:50:19,380 I got something really odd here. 738 00:50:19,449 --> 00:50:21,314 You might want to check it out. 739 00:50:32,262 --> 00:50:35,231 [Laughter] 740 00:50:47,110 --> 00:50:49,738 [Making revving noise with mouth] 741 00:51:04,761 --> 00:51:06,160 [Albert] Beauty. 742 00:51:07,898 --> 00:51:11,163 Say, uh, what's the price of a car like that? 743 00:51:11,234 --> 00:51:15,398 Seven thousand nine hundred and ninety-five dollars. 744 00:51:15,472 --> 00:51:18,669 - That's not even a dozen eggs. - I beg your pardon. 745 00:51:18,742 --> 00:51:23,645 Nothing. You wouldn't happen to have a layaway plan, would you? 746 00:51:23,713 --> 00:51:26,910 - Hardly. - No, I didn't think so. 747 00:51:26,983 --> 00:51:29,816 Well, I can't buy it now, but... 748 00:51:31,988 --> 00:51:33,717 I'll be back. 749 00:51:34,257 --> 00:51:36,851 [Laughter] 750 00:51:54,911 --> 00:51:57,243 According to the phone calls 751 00:51:57,314 --> 00:52:01,114 that have been pouring into this U.s. Treasury Dept. Office, 752 00:52:01,184 --> 00:52:06,247 this map represents certain refineries that have been receiving these... 753 00:52:06,323 --> 00:52:08,655 ...odd gold nuggets. 754 00:52:08,725 --> 00:52:11,216 We don't know just who the gang is, 755 00:52:11,294 --> 00:52:15,196 but, undoubtedly, it's an underworld operation. 756 00:52:15,265 --> 00:52:19,759 Otherwise, why would they spread those nuggets around those various refineries? 757 00:52:19,836 --> 00:52:22,031 You figure it's Mafia controlled, chief? 758 00:52:23,240 --> 00:52:25,902 - Probably something worse. - Worse? 759 00:52:28,645 --> 00:52:33,275 Gentlemen, they may have learned how to make gold. 760 00:52:34,918 --> 00:52:37,216 Well, that's not very probable. 761 00:52:37,287 --> 00:52:41,189 That can only be done by atomic bombardment and the cost is prohibitive. 762 00:52:41,258 --> 00:52:43,158 I know that. 763 00:52:43,226 --> 00:52:46,423 The point I'm trying to make is that they've found a way to make gold 764 00:52:46,496 --> 00:52:49,226 cheap enough to put on the market. 765 00:52:49,299 --> 00:52:53,065 Our top chemists can't even identify some of the elements, 766 00:52:53,136 --> 00:52:58,335 and there are traces of such bizarre impurities as apple pectin. 767 00:53:00,043 --> 00:53:02,705 Apples in gold? 768 00:53:02,779 --> 00:53:04,269 [Rutledge] Don't laugh. 769 00:53:04,347 --> 00:53:07,714 Remember what happened to common, every day, ordinary bread mold? 770 00:53:08,451 --> 00:53:09,850 Penicillin. 771 00:53:11,855 --> 00:53:14,551 But Mr. Morgan here, of the Federal Reserve Bank 772 00:53:14,624 --> 00:53:17,184 has something further to say to us on the subject. 773 00:53:18,495 --> 00:53:20,895 Gentlemen, this... 774 00:53:21,598 --> 00:53:26,160 ...this thing just cannot happen. 775 00:53:26,236 --> 00:53:29,672 I mean, money... money is the greatest... 776 00:53:30,340 --> 00:53:33,275 What we've got to do is ferret out 777 00:53:33,343 --> 00:53:36,107 and stop this nefarious gang of... 778 00:53:37,881 --> 00:53:41,612 I hesitate to think what would happen 779 00:53:41,685 --> 00:53:43,915 if this were to get out of this room. 780 00:53:43,987 --> 00:53:45,750 - [Phone rings] - [Clears throat] 781 00:53:45,822 --> 00:53:47,312 Excuse me. 782 00:53:47,390 --> 00:53:49,085 Rutledge here. 783 00:53:51,595 --> 00:53:53,620 Yes, he is, just a sec. 784 00:53:53,697 --> 00:53:54,686 For you. 785 00:53:54,764 --> 00:53:58,723 President of the New York stock Exchange, he says it's urgent. 786 00:53:58,802 --> 00:54:00,667 Take it on one. 787 00:54:04,608 --> 00:54:06,405 Hello, Bob. 788 00:54:08,578 --> 00:54:10,375 What rumor? 789 00:54:10,447 --> 00:54:12,642 [Laughter] 790 00:54:12,716 --> 00:54:15,082 Synthetic gold? 791 00:54:17,053 --> 00:54:19,248 [Stammering] Where did you hear that? 792 00:54:19,322 --> 00:54:21,187 Your barber. 793 00:54:21,258 --> 00:54:22,953 Oh, no, Bob. 794 00:54:23,994 --> 00:54:27,828 No, no, no. Absolutely nothing to that. Nothing to it at all. 795 00:54:27,897 --> 00:54:31,298 Well, we have had a little flap about gold around here, 796 00:54:31,368 --> 00:54:34,804 but everything is absolutely under control. 797 00:54:34,871 --> 00:54:38,602 You tell Wall street just to relax. 798 00:54:40,110 --> 00:54:41,600 Right, Bob. 799 00:54:41,745 --> 00:54:44,009 Right, Bob. 800 00:54:44,080 --> 00:54:45,707 Bye, Bob. 801 00:54:46,449 --> 00:54:49,009 Good heavens, how would his barber... 802 00:54:49,085 --> 00:54:51,280 [phone rings] 803 00:54:52,022 --> 00:54:53,284 Rutledge. 804 00:54:55,091 --> 00:54:57,719 You again. Take it on two. 805 00:55:00,397 --> 00:55:02,991 Hello. Yes, this is he. 806 00:55:04,467 --> 00:55:06,298 The state Department? 807 00:55:11,007 --> 00:55:12,565 Hello, Rog. 808 00:55:13,843 --> 00:55:17,472 Oh, no. [Stammering] That's just a rumor. 809 00:55:17,547 --> 00:55:21,916 Rumor or not, Ed, this could play hob with our foreign monetary agreements. 810 00:55:22,986 --> 00:55:26,945 Believe me, Rog, we are right on top of this thing. 811 00:55:27,023 --> 00:55:28,684 No, siree. 812 00:55:28,758 --> 00:55:32,455 Not a single foreign country will hear anything about it. 813 00:55:32,529 --> 00:55:34,554 [Speaks in French] 814 00:55:35,665 --> 00:55:37,963 Get me the U.s. Ambassador. 815 00:55:38,034 --> 00:55:41,629 How dare they meddle with their gold. It's all ours. 816 00:55:41,705 --> 00:55:46,574 Da. America is producing instant gold. 817 00:55:46,643 --> 00:55:47,632 It is a plot. 818 00:55:47,711 --> 00:55:51,772 If those bloody Americans are fabricating the stuff, we're done in. 819 00:55:51,848 --> 00:55:54,282 Please get the formula. 820 00:55:54,351 --> 00:55:58,549 Americans make it for ten dollars an ounce, we make it $8.95. 821 00:55:58,988 --> 00:56:00,649 [Commotion] 822 00:56:02,625 --> 00:56:03,887 The White House? 823 00:56:07,364 --> 00:56:09,798 Yes, sir. Yes, sir. 824 00:56:09,866 --> 00:56:14,030 [Stammering] 825 00:56:14,104 --> 00:56:18,131 Yes, sir. I fully realize you have enough trouble without this. 826 00:56:18,808 --> 00:56:20,366 Yes, sir. I understand, sir. 827 00:56:20,443 --> 00:56:22,968 [Stammering] Yes, sir. 828 00:56:23,046 --> 00:56:25,207 Thank you, sir. 829 00:56:26,383 --> 00:56:29,910 Gentlemen, I think your duty is quite clear. 830 00:56:30,920 --> 00:56:32,785 - Rutledge. - Huh? 831 00:56:33,556 --> 00:56:35,456 It's in your hands. 832 00:56:40,196 --> 00:56:43,529 What leads do you have on this gang, chief? 833 00:56:43,566 --> 00:56:47,002 Uh, oh... Uh... 834 00:56:48,037 --> 00:56:50,028 Yes, well... [clears throat] 835 00:56:50,106 --> 00:56:54,236 So far, the only lead we have is the name of the bag man. 836 00:56:54,310 --> 00:56:56,335 Bag woman. 837 00:56:56,413 --> 00:57:00,110 Known under various aliases, such as... 838 00:57:00,183 --> 00:57:02,777 ...K.W. Dooley. 839 00:57:04,621 --> 00:57:07,249 Quote Katie Klaus quote Dooley. 840 00:57:07,323 --> 00:57:10,053 Mrs. Albert Dooley. 841 00:57:10,126 --> 00:57:13,061 Francis Abigail Dooley. 842 00:57:13,129 --> 00:57:16,064 What was after Albert... Albert Dooley? 843 00:57:16,132 --> 00:57:17,759 That's my neighbor. 844 00:57:17,834 --> 00:57:19,301 Your neighbor? 845 00:57:19,369 --> 00:57:21,667 Well, it's not my fault. I was there first. 846 00:57:21,738 --> 00:57:24,400 They moved in and I... Oh, Katie and Albert Dooley. 847 00:57:24,474 --> 00:57:27,500 I knew there was something about that professor. 848 00:57:29,212 --> 00:57:30,907 [Clippers snipping] 849 00:57:41,057 --> 00:57:44,424 Really, now? A man of your age? 850 00:57:44,494 --> 00:57:45,961 Shh. 851 00:57:48,431 --> 00:57:50,422 I was doing undercover work. 852 00:57:50,500 --> 00:57:53,060 Yes, I can see that. 853 00:57:54,304 --> 00:57:55,965 [Car approaching] 854 00:58:09,686 --> 00:58:11,278 Hi, neighbor. 855 00:58:11,354 --> 00:58:13,345 How's it going there, friend? 856 00:58:13,423 --> 00:58:15,357 Fine. 857 00:58:22,165 --> 00:58:23,723 Oh, um... 858 00:58:23,800 --> 00:58:27,099 Having a little vacation. I thought I'd spend it... 859 00:58:27,170 --> 00:58:29,161 ...fixing up the house. 860 00:58:29,239 --> 00:58:30,900 Have fun. 861 00:58:40,049 --> 00:58:43,018 Hooper suspects something. Did you tell him anything? 862 00:58:43,086 --> 00:58:45,987 - You forgot to kiss me. - Answer me, did you? 863 00:58:46,055 --> 00:58:47,886 I haven't even talked to him. 864 00:58:47,957 --> 00:58:50,949 - Well, how about Jimmy? - Yes, I talked to him. 865 00:58:51,027 --> 00:58:53,052 - He's our son, remember? - I know that. 866 00:58:53,129 --> 00:58:55,097 Why are you so suspicious of Hooper? 867 00:58:55,164 --> 00:58:57,564 He's being friendly, what more proof do you need? 868 00:58:57,834 --> 00:58:59,927 [Honking] 869 00:59:11,247 --> 00:59:12,737 Fred! 870 00:59:12,815 --> 00:59:15,648 - How about that car? - Beauty, isn't she? Look... 871 00:59:15,718 --> 00:59:19,620 Wait, what happened to not spending money and no change in living standards? 872 00:59:19,689 --> 00:59:21,953 Right and my new idea will save us a bundle... 873 00:59:22,025 --> 00:59:24,619 - That's the car I had my eye on. - Good taste, Al, baby. 874 00:59:24,694 --> 00:59:28,186 Old Freddie-boy is going to see you get a whole stable full of them. 875 00:59:31,167 --> 00:59:34,534 - Why can't we have a car like that? - Katie, Katie, Katie... 876 00:59:34,604 --> 00:59:38,301 What's the matter, is that all you think about, material possessions? 877 00:59:38,374 --> 00:59:41,741 Here I am, slaving my head to the bone while you... Albert! 878 00:59:41,811 --> 00:59:44,177 How about that for a company name? 879 00:59:44,814 --> 00:59:47,282 Dooley's Wrought Iron sauna Baths? 880 00:59:47,350 --> 00:59:49,682 - Yeah. - What does that have to do with gold? 881 00:59:49,752 --> 00:59:52,118 Nothing. It's a sure loser. 882 00:59:52,188 --> 00:59:53,746 A great tax write-off. 883 00:59:53,823 --> 00:59:56,451 Fine. I can tell you, we got bigger problems than that. 884 00:59:56,526 --> 00:59:59,393 - New ones? - Hooper's suspicious, for one thing. 885 00:59:59,462 --> 01:00:01,953 - Hooper? - Yeah, he spoke to me. 886 01:00:02,031 --> 01:00:06,263 Besides Hooper, I still cannot identify the radioactive element in our gold. 887 01:00:06,336 --> 01:00:09,237 If I can't identify it, I don't know what its half-life is. 888 01:00:09,305 --> 01:00:13,139 - If I don't know its half-life... - Hold it. What is this half-life? 889 01:00:13,209 --> 01:00:16,201 The rate of disintegration of a radioactive substance. 890 01:00:16,279 --> 01:00:19,077 In other words, it could run out. 891 01:00:19,148 --> 01:00:20,775 Run out? 892 01:00:21,884 --> 01:00:24,079 You mean our duck could stop laying gold eggs? 893 01:00:24,153 --> 01:00:25,984 Exactly. 894 01:00:27,123 --> 01:00:30,615 Well... You mean that duck could be washed up right now? 895 01:00:30,693 --> 01:00:32,058 It's possible. 896 01:00:32,128 --> 01:00:35,120 Well, get it, Al. Get it and check. 897 01:00:36,366 --> 01:00:37,799 Katie. 898 01:00:38,201 --> 01:00:39,828 Katie, bring the duck. 899 01:00:39,902 --> 01:00:43,065 You don't have to shout. I have 20l20 hearing. 900 01:00:43,139 --> 01:00:45,266 - Where's Charlie? - Out. 901 01:00:45,942 --> 01:00:47,273 What do you mean out? 902 01:00:47,343 --> 01:00:50,312 Jimmy took him for a ride in that cute car with the Wadlow boys. 903 01:00:50,380 --> 01:00:52,348 The Wadlow boys? 904 01:00:52,415 --> 01:00:57,148 Not that! The way those maniacs drive, there goes our Charlie. Come on. 905 01:00:57,220 --> 01:01:00,553 You guys said you'd take me and Charlie for a ride. 906 01:01:00,623 --> 01:01:02,454 Take it easy, man. We will. 907 01:01:02,525 --> 01:01:04,356 Can't you just put the battery in? Ow! 908 01:01:05,728 --> 01:01:07,127 - Go help him. - Hey. 909 01:01:10,700 --> 01:01:14,431 Look, if you're gonna hang around here, man, you gotta shape up, okay? 910 01:01:21,544 --> 01:01:25,173 Hey, get that duck off there, he'll fry! Get him off! 911 01:01:31,354 --> 01:01:33,845 - Hey, Arvin, look. He likes it. - Huh? 912 01:01:38,327 --> 01:01:40,352 [Orlo] He's outta sight. 913 01:01:44,834 --> 01:01:48,167 Jimmy, you want to sell him? We'll give you two bucks cash. 914 01:01:48,237 --> 01:01:51,229 No, sir. He's my friend. 915 01:01:51,941 --> 01:01:54,171 I got an idea. 916 01:02:04,554 --> 01:02:06,920 [Radio plays music] 917 01:02:07,924 --> 01:02:10,586 [Boys laughing] 918 01:02:11,794 --> 01:02:14,228 [Honking] 919 01:02:18,901 --> 01:02:21,461 [Jimmy] Go, Charlie. Great. 920 01:02:32,014 --> 01:02:35,814 - What do you think you're doing? - Don't do that, we're having fun. 921 01:02:35,885 --> 01:02:37,352 The fun's over, son. 922 01:02:37,420 --> 01:02:39,945 But they're gonna take me and Charlie for a ride. 923 01:02:40,022 --> 01:02:42,456 Oh, no. No, no, no. 924 01:02:42,525 --> 01:02:45,050 They're not taking this duck in that death trap. 925 01:02:45,128 --> 01:02:47,892 Hold on, Mr. Dooley. Doesn't that duck belong to Jimmy? 926 01:02:47,964 --> 01:02:50,728 Yeah, you're violating his civil rights. 927 01:02:50,800 --> 01:02:54,634 It's not a civil rights case. It's property rights. 928 01:02:54,704 --> 01:02:55,728 Hitlers. 929 01:02:59,575 --> 01:03:01,509 [Barking] 930 01:03:01,577 --> 01:03:05,035 Albert, Jimmy's upstairs crying. What did you do to him? 931 01:03:05,114 --> 01:03:07,048 I didn't do anything to him. 932 01:03:07,116 --> 01:03:10,142 I'm just protecting the duck. We can't take chances like that. 933 01:03:10,219 --> 01:03:13,211 [Fred] In fact, we have to take it away from Jimmy altogether. 934 01:03:13,289 --> 01:03:14,756 [Albert] I guess you're right. 935 01:03:14,824 --> 01:03:17,418 [Katie] You can't do that. Jimmy loves that duck. 936 01:03:17,493 --> 01:03:20,155 It's his pal, now that you've turned against him. 937 01:03:20,229 --> 01:03:21,560 Turned against him? 938 01:03:21,631 --> 01:03:24,293 This is all academic if Charlie can't produce anymore. 939 01:03:24,367 --> 01:03:26,267 Come on, Al, baby. Come on. 940 01:03:26,335 --> 01:03:28,030 [Barking] 941 01:03:34,243 --> 01:03:35,972 [Ding] 942 01:04:08,110 --> 01:04:10,271 [Laughter] 943 01:04:13,749 --> 01:04:15,011 [Hooper's wife] Finley! 944 01:04:18,554 --> 01:04:22,217 Serves you right... masher. 945 01:04:32,301 --> 01:04:34,565 Uh, Jimmy? Hi, Jimmy. 946 01:04:34,637 --> 01:04:36,764 Getting big, aren't you? 947 01:04:36,839 --> 01:04:39,831 Why don't you come over here, I got something to show you. 948 01:04:39,909 --> 01:04:42,036 I'm not supposed to go into your yard. 949 01:04:42,111 --> 01:04:46,207 That's all right. I've got a present for you. Come on. 950 01:04:49,118 --> 01:04:51,985 - That's for me? - If you want it. 951 01:04:52,054 --> 01:04:54,852 My little nephew outgrew it. 952 01:04:54,924 --> 01:04:56,721 Boy, oh, boy. 953 01:04:58,961 --> 01:05:00,326 Vroom, vroom. 954 01:05:00,396 --> 01:05:03,957 Say, this is a nice duck you've got here. 955 01:05:04,033 --> 01:05:06,866 I'll bet she lays a lot of nice eggs. 956 01:05:06,936 --> 01:05:08,904 Yeah, lots of them. 957 01:05:08,971 --> 01:05:13,738 You know something? I've never seen a real duck egg. 958 01:05:13,809 --> 01:05:16,835 Do you suppose that I could get her to lay one for me? 959 01:05:16,913 --> 01:05:18,471 I don't know. 960 01:05:18,547 --> 01:05:22,847 - My dad can. He barks at her. - He does? [stammers] He barks? 961 01:05:24,687 --> 01:05:28,248 Why don't I try that? You come over here and hold her and I'll try it. 962 01:05:28,324 --> 01:05:29,814 Here we go. 963 01:05:32,194 --> 01:05:34,560 [Barks] 964 01:05:37,400 --> 01:05:39,766 Anything happen back there? No. 965 01:05:42,004 --> 01:05:44,336 [Dog barks] 966 01:05:46,809 --> 01:05:48,640 [Ding] 967 01:05:50,513 --> 01:05:53,812 - Come home now, Jimmy. - But look at the bike Mr. Hooper... 968 01:05:53,883 --> 01:05:56,852 Right now and bring Charlie. Hurry. 969 01:06:00,856 --> 01:06:02,949 And you, Mr. Hooper. 970 01:06:03,025 --> 01:06:07,257 Stealing your neighbor's eggs. Aren't you ashamed? 971 01:06:10,833 --> 01:06:12,460 [Sighs] 972 01:06:13,436 --> 01:06:16,234 That's right, Albert, he knows. 973 01:06:16,305 --> 01:06:18,739 No, he didn't get the egg, but... 974 01:06:18,808 --> 01:06:21,675 Well, I can't keep the duck locked up all the time, 975 01:06:21,744 --> 01:06:24,235 it's only human, you know. 976 01:06:24,313 --> 01:06:27,840 Yes. All right. 977 01:06:29,952 --> 01:06:32,216 Crisis, Fred. Hooper's hip. 978 01:06:32,288 --> 01:06:35,587 I'll meet you at the house as quick as I can sneak away from here, okay? 979 01:06:35,658 --> 01:06:37,558 [Gottlieb] Dooley? 980 01:06:39,662 --> 01:06:42,995 - [Squealing] - Dooley! Dooley! 981 01:06:43,065 --> 01:06:47,502 What he has is this little duck. 982 01:06:49,038 --> 01:06:52,872 - Did you say duck? - Yes. Duck. 983 01:06:53,943 --> 01:06:56,173 [Chuckling] I got it. 984 01:06:56,245 --> 01:07:00,773 Evidently some kind of a new gangland code word. 985 01:07:00,850 --> 01:07:04,946 No, just plain duck. You know, "quack, quack." 986 01:07:05,021 --> 01:07:07,683 And this duck lays gold eggs. 987 01:07:07,757 --> 01:07:10,885 It's true. I saw it happen. 988 01:07:11,994 --> 01:07:13,086 They bark at it. 989 01:07:15,131 --> 01:07:17,929 - Bark at it? - Yeah, like a dog. 990 01:07:18,000 --> 01:07:19,695 [Barks] They bark... Just like... 991 01:07:19,769 --> 01:07:23,671 And that causes the duck to lay these... gold eggs. 992 01:07:30,046 --> 01:07:33,914 - I see. - I did it myself. 993 01:07:34,750 --> 01:07:36,479 You? 994 01:07:36,552 --> 01:07:38,747 You laid a gold egg, Hoop? 995 01:07:38,821 --> 01:07:42,655 Oh, yeah, it wasn't easy... No, I didn't. 996 01:07:42,725 --> 01:07:45,819 I barked at it, the duck, it laid the gold egg. 997 01:07:46,562 --> 01:07:49,360 Oh, yes, well... 998 01:07:49,432 --> 01:07:51,559 Very interesting. 999 01:07:55,471 --> 01:08:00,067 Look, why don't you stop by my office sometime tomorrow and... 1000 01:08:00,142 --> 01:08:02,576 ...you and me have a little chat. 1001 01:08:03,579 --> 01:08:05,945 Chief, wait a minute, I know it sounds... 1002 01:08:06,015 --> 01:08:09,007 You confiscate the duck and I'll prove it. 1003 01:08:13,756 --> 01:08:18,455 - How long you been with the Department? - It was after Prohibition... 1004 01:08:18,527 --> 01:08:21,758 Chief, there may be something to this. 1005 01:08:21,831 --> 01:08:24,493 I checked with a Dr. Gottlieb at the University lab, 1006 01:08:24,567 --> 01:08:28,128 and he said something about Dooley trying to make gold out of eggs. 1007 01:08:28,204 --> 01:08:31,173 I thought he was putting me on, but with Hooper telling us... 1008 01:08:31,240 --> 01:08:34,266 Aren't those nuggets all about the same size as an egg yolk? 1009 01:08:34,343 --> 01:08:36,834 So... stop that. 1010 01:08:36,912 --> 01:08:39,608 It's all some fairy tale talk. 1011 01:08:39,682 --> 01:08:41,479 Sure, chief, but look at the facts. 1012 01:08:41,917 --> 01:08:43,680 [Phone rings] 1013 01:08:46,021 --> 01:08:51,152 Hooper here. Yes, Mr. Morgan, we haven't struck yet, but it's a duck. 1014 01:08:51,227 --> 01:08:54,754 - Lays gold eggs. Duck. - Let me have that. 1015 01:08:55,598 --> 01:08:58,829 Hi, Morg. Rutledge here. 1016 01:08:58,901 --> 01:09:00,596 Thank you, same to you. 1017 01:09:02,705 --> 01:09:06,004 There does seem to be a certain degree of duck involvement here, 1018 01:09:06,075 --> 01:09:08,134 we don't know just... 1019 01:09:08,210 --> 01:09:11,236 No, duck. D-u... Yeah. 1020 01:09:11,313 --> 01:09:13,679 Not a word's gotten out. 1021 01:09:13,749 --> 01:09:16,980 A duck? Quack, quack. 1022 01:09:17,052 --> 01:09:20,681 Try to trade them for it. Offer them all their gold. 1023 01:09:20,756 --> 01:09:24,624 Sell all our mines and buy up every bloody duck from here to Cape Town. 1024 01:09:24,693 --> 01:09:27,685 Get the blueprint of U.s. Duck. 1025 01:09:27,763 --> 01:09:31,199 Make same thing. Plastic. Half price. 1026 01:09:31,600 --> 01:09:33,397 [Commotion] 1027 01:09:35,838 --> 01:09:38,432 Now just let me say this about that. 1028 01:09:38,507 --> 01:09:40,475 Get that duck. Do you understand? 1029 01:09:40,543 --> 01:09:43,239 - [On phone] Get that duck. - Bye-bye. 1030 01:09:46,582 --> 01:09:49,847 All right, men. We're moving in. 1031 01:09:50,786 --> 01:09:52,310 Now, here's the strategy. 1032 01:10:03,499 --> 01:10:05,660 - Where's Charlie? - Upstairs with Jimmy. 1033 01:10:05,734 --> 01:10:07,565 Good. Where's the egg? 1034 01:10:08,103 --> 01:10:11,732 That's what we want. We got to get rid of the duck, too. Got any more of these? 1035 01:10:11,807 --> 01:10:14,901 - Give me the egg. - What are you doing? 1036 01:10:14,977 --> 01:10:17,445 - I handle the eggs. - Boys. 1037 01:10:17,513 --> 01:10:20,209 I know what you're trying to do, and I'm the egg man. 1038 01:10:23,219 --> 01:10:26,552 - Where are you going? - Not now, Eunice, please. 1039 01:10:26,622 --> 01:10:29,750 - We're all adults. - It's my egg, too. 1040 01:10:29,825 --> 01:10:32,988 Enough! Go upstairs and get the duck. 1041 01:10:33,062 --> 01:10:37,328 Now wait just a minute. I will decide what I am going to do. 1042 01:10:41,737 --> 01:10:44,399 I'm going upstairs and get the duck. 1043 01:10:48,410 --> 01:10:50,401 [Knocking on door] 1044 01:10:56,719 --> 01:10:59,586 Oh, hello, there, neighbor. I... 1045 01:10:59,655 --> 01:11:03,523 I thought you might like to meet my colleagues down at the Treasury Dept. 1046 01:11:03,592 --> 01:11:06,060 - This is Mr. Rutledge, Mr. Smith... - A pleasure. 1047 01:11:06,128 --> 01:11:08,153 Hope you can come back when I'm not so busy. 1048 01:11:08,230 --> 01:11:09,697 Mr. Dooley. 1049 01:11:09,765 --> 01:11:10,823 Hold it. 1050 01:11:10,899 --> 01:11:14,357 Treasury men aren't entitled to barge in without a search warrant. 1051 01:11:14,436 --> 01:11:16,427 Got it right here. 1052 01:11:17,873 --> 01:11:20,171 - There you are. - [Hooper] Dooley. 1053 01:11:20,242 --> 01:11:22,767 Mr. Rutledge wants to see your duck. 1054 01:11:23,979 --> 01:11:26,675 - What duck? - Oh, come on now, Dooley. 1055 01:11:26,749 --> 01:11:28,239 You mean my little boy's pet? 1056 01:11:28,317 --> 01:11:32,651 Mr. Dooley, we have an eyewitness who will attest to the fact 1057 01:11:32,721 --> 01:11:36,521 that you have a duck that lays... gold eggs. 1058 01:11:36,592 --> 01:11:41,120 Gold eggs? What'd you do a dumb thing like that for? 1059 01:11:41,196 --> 01:11:43,426 41,000 dollars worth of eggs, 1060 01:11:43,499 --> 01:11:46,525 and not one cent of income tax has been declared. 1061 01:11:46,602 --> 01:11:48,900 Well, sir, this duck of yours could very well be 1062 01:11:48,971 --> 01:11:52,429 the most single valuable asset in the United states today. 1063 01:11:52,508 --> 01:11:55,136 That duck is a natural resource. 1064 01:11:55,210 --> 01:11:57,337 Like Hoover Dam. 1065 01:11:57,413 --> 01:12:00,473 That duck's entitled to the protection of the U.s. Government. 1066 01:12:00,549 --> 01:12:03,609 You have no proof that my client's duck lays gold eggs. 1067 01:12:03,686 --> 01:12:08,282 I understand that the duck will produce on command. 1068 01:12:08,357 --> 01:12:10,689 That's right. I've done it myself. 1069 01:12:10,759 --> 01:12:13,922 - You bark at it. - I'll get the duck. 1070 01:12:13,996 --> 01:12:17,727 Wait a minute, you have your rights. I'd like to confer with my client. 1071 01:12:17,800 --> 01:12:20,530 - All right, you got 30 seconds. - Come on. 1072 01:12:27,876 --> 01:12:29,867 - Are you out of your mind? - Don't worry. 1073 01:12:29,945 --> 01:12:32,413 I'll bark in the wrong pitch and she won't produce. 1074 01:12:32,481 --> 01:12:34,506 - You're sure she won't cross us up? - No way. 1075 01:12:38,087 --> 01:12:39,952 I'll get the duck. 1076 01:12:40,022 --> 01:12:43,788 I'd better, he might not give it to you. He's not too crazy about you these days. 1077 01:12:43,859 --> 01:12:46,487 - Don't let her out of your sight. - [Katie] No. 1078 01:12:46,562 --> 01:12:49,395 I am not going upstairs with some strange man. 1079 01:12:49,465 --> 01:12:51,626 It's okay. 1080 01:13:04,813 --> 01:13:07,509 - [Katie] He's gone. - The duck? 1081 01:13:07,583 --> 01:13:09,949 - No, Jimmy. - He went out the window with the duck. 1082 01:13:10,018 --> 01:13:12,043 - [Albert] They're gone? - You tricked us. 1083 01:13:12,121 --> 01:13:14,612 - Shut up. - Don't just everybody stand there. 1084 01:13:14,690 --> 01:13:17,352 - Please go out and find him. - All right, I'll handle it. 1085 01:13:17,426 --> 01:13:20,190 Beckert, smith, Forbes, outside, deploy, cover the area. 1086 01:13:20,262 --> 01:13:22,492 - Hooper, stick with me. - Right behind you. 1087 01:13:22,564 --> 01:13:24,862 Katie's right, we have to find that duck. 1088 01:13:24,933 --> 01:13:27,333 Not the duck, Fred. My son. 1089 01:13:27,403 --> 01:13:29,371 Mrs. Hooper. Mrs. Hooper. 1090 01:13:29,438 --> 01:13:31,770 Did you see the Dooley kid run out of his house? 1091 01:13:31,840 --> 01:13:33,740 - With the duck? - I sure did. 1092 01:13:33,809 --> 01:13:36,300 He got a bicycle out of our garage and took off. 1093 01:13:36,378 --> 01:13:38,505 - Which way did he go? - That way. 1094 01:13:39,882 --> 01:13:42,214 Forbes, come on, let's go. 1095 01:13:42,484 --> 01:13:45,112 Why don't you watch what you're doing? 1096 01:13:47,489 --> 01:13:51,050 Poor Jimmy. If we'd never gotten that darn duck. 1097 01:13:51,126 --> 01:13:52,855 [Albert] We'll find him. 1098 01:13:59,968 --> 01:14:01,799 [Tires screech] 1099 01:14:20,556 --> 01:14:22,148 There's his bike. Come on. 1100 01:14:26,728 --> 01:14:27,922 Look. 1101 01:14:29,298 --> 01:14:31,129 Turn around, let's go. 1102 01:15:00,963 --> 01:15:02,487 [Hooper] There, chief. 1103 01:15:04,700 --> 01:15:07,066 [Tires screech] 1104 01:15:16,478 --> 01:15:18,469 Search that truck. 1105 01:15:22,117 --> 01:15:24,847 - [Hooper] Not in there. Not in there. - [Rutledge] Huh? 1106 01:15:24,920 --> 01:15:28,947 Hey! What are you bums doing to my truck? 1107 01:15:29,024 --> 01:15:32,926 Sorry, sir. This is U.s. Official United states government business. 1108 01:15:32,995 --> 01:15:35,190 We know you got a duck here somewhere. 1109 01:15:35,264 --> 01:15:36,595 A duck? 1110 01:15:37,065 --> 01:15:41,229 Hey. I know. This is Candid Camera, right? 1111 01:15:43,305 --> 01:15:46,502 Where is it? Eh? Where is it? 1112 01:16:01,256 --> 01:16:03,156 Okay, Mack. Move. 1113 01:16:10,399 --> 01:16:14,495 [Rutledge] Let's check the alley. There's no sign of him around here. 1114 01:16:18,607 --> 01:16:20,939 - There they are. - Wait for us. 1115 01:16:27,649 --> 01:16:29,207 Come on, boy. 1116 01:16:35,324 --> 01:16:37,121 Charlie! 1117 01:16:38,293 --> 01:16:40,022 [Jimmy] Charlie! 1118 01:16:53,208 --> 01:16:56,109 - [Woman] What are you doing? - Charlie! 1119 01:16:56,178 --> 01:16:58,169 Stop it, come here. 1120 01:16:58,246 --> 01:17:01,875 [Brakes screech, crash] 1121 01:17:03,552 --> 01:17:06,043 I saw. The truck swerved to miss the duck. 1122 01:17:06,121 --> 01:17:07,782 Hey! It's our old buddy, Jimmy. 1123 01:17:07,856 --> 01:17:09,653 [Man] What did you want? Hit the duck? 1124 01:17:12,461 --> 01:17:14,793 - Come on. - Don't let them get Charlie. 1125 01:17:14,863 --> 01:17:18,060 - Who's after him, man? - Everybody. Even the government. 1126 01:17:18,133 --> 01:17:20,328 - The government... - Come on, haul it. 1127 01:17:20,402 --> 01:17:23,963 - All right, cool it. - Come on, Charlie. You're mine. 1128 01:17:26,375 --> 01:17:28,935 There they are. The Wadlows have him. 1129 01:17:32,547 --> 01:17:35,914 Never mind that. Get up here and move that car out of the way. 1130 01:17:40,055 --> 01:17:42,148 I said move it. 1131 01:17:45,827 --> 01:17:47,454 [Screaming] 1132 01:17:57,072 --> 01:17:58,664 - Watch out. - Hey! 1133 01:18:12,287 --> 01:18:16,621 Wait a minute. They're always ready, and boy do we need them. 1134 01:18:16,692 --> 01:18:17,920 [Fred] Get in. 1135 01:18:17,993 --> 01:18:19,961 Should we leave a note for somebody? 1136 01:18:20,028 --> 01:18:21,518 Get in, get in, get in! 1137 01:18:44,653 --> 01:18:47,554 Albert! Jump on. 1138 01:19:08,343 --> 01:19:10,743 Stop this thing. He's gonna be killed up there. 1139 01:19:10,812 --> 01:19:14,646 - Try and lower him. - How do you work this crazy thing? 1140 01:19:23,859 --> 01:19:25,417 Hey, Fred! 1141 01:19:25,494 --> 01:19:27,962 [Albert] Turn right at the next corner. 1142 01:19:40,308 --> 01:19:42,970 Hey, Fred. Watch it! 1143 01:19:43,044 --> 01:19:44,841 That was a red light. 1144 01:19:46,882 --> 01:19:49,282 [Orlo] Hey, look what they're chasing us with. 1145 01:19:51,787 --> 01:19:54,984 I sure gotta hand it to your old man. He's something else. 1146 01:20:00,462 --> 01:20:02,327 For crying out loud! 1147 01:20:02,397 --> 01:20:04,888 - Take it easy. - Hang on, Albert. 1148 01:20:12,908 --> 01:20:15,172 Fred. Fred! 1149 01:20:15,243 --> 01:20:17,336 What are you trying to do, kill me? 1150 01:20:37,232 --> 01:20:39,257 Stop. We're gonna decaptivate him. 1151 01:20:39,334 --> 01:20:41,268 [Brakes screech] 1152 01:20:43,004 --> 01:20:45,029 What are you trying to pull now? 1153 01:20:45,106 --> 01:20:48,200 What do you think? I'm waiting for a streetcar... 1154 01:20:49,878 --> 01:20:51,641 Go, Forbes, after him. 1155 01:21:05,327 --> 01:21:06,794 Here we go. 1156 01:21:06,862 --> 01:21:08,853 [Sirens wail] 1157 01:21:20,742 --> 01:21:23,677 Get around that fool truck and we got them. 1158 01:21:27,949 --> 01:21:29,780 Come on, pass him, will you? 1159 01:21:48,536 --> 01:21:50,868 Your dad's cool, but he sure is a show-off. 1160 01:21:52,741 --> 01:21:55,437 [Horn blaring] 1161 01:22:31,546 --> 01:22:34,845 Hold it. Hold it. You got to have a ticket. 1162 01:22:42,824 --> 01:22:46,021 Swing back to that garage, we got them now. 1163 01:22:52,901 --> 01:22:54,926 [Man] I didn't do it! 1164 01:22:56,771 --> 01:22:59,865 You can't make a U-turn here, stupid. Who do you think you are? 1165 01:22:59,941 --> 01:23:01,806 [Everyone shouting] 1166 01:23:03,144 --> 01:23:06,136 Thank you. Move along, folks. Break it up. 1167 01:23:06,214 --> 01:23:08,614 - Official government business. - Government? 1168 01:23:08,683 --> 01:23:11,015 No wonder you got everything all loused up. 1169 01:23:18,994 --> 01:23:20,825 The boys are in the parking garage. 1170 01:23:33,575 --> 01:23:35,805 Wait, you can't bring this thing in here. 1171 01:23:35,877 --> 01:23:38,345 - My son is in here. - I don't care who's in here. 1172 01:23:38,413 --> 01:23:40,244 [Attendant] Get this heap out of here. 1173 01:23:40,315 --> 01:23:43,580 Will you please take my money? I'm in an awful hurry. 1174 01:23:43,651 --> 01:23:47,109 Will you get this out of here now! Yeah. 1175 01:23:58,900 --> 01:24:00,458 Hey, over there. 1176 01:24:04,039 --> 01:24:06,007 - Come on. - Come on. 1177 01:24:06,074 --> 01:24:08,201 [Arvin] Come on, move it! 1178 01:24:13,014 --> 01:24:15,005 [Arvin] Over you go, Jimmy. 1179 01:24:33,101 --> 01:24:34,625 [Orlo] Arvin, a ladder. 1180 01:24:41,776 --> 01:24:43,471 [Albert] Jimmy! 1181 01:24:48,116 --> 01:24:50,311 [Arvin] Okay, over you go. 1182 01:24:52,120 --> 01:24:55,112 - Be brave, pal. Attaboy. - [Albert] Where are you? 1183 01:25:03,364 --> 01:25:06,094 - Easy does it. - Easy, Jim. Come on. 1184 01:25:06,167 --> 01:25:08,829 [Arvin] Okay. There you go. 1185 01:25:13,475 --> 01:25:16,000 [Quacking] 1186 01:25:19,948 --> 01:25:21,438 [Jimmy] Help. 1187 01:25:24,185 --> 01:25:26,915 [Orlo] Hang on, we'll get you. Just hang on. 1188 01:25:26,988 --> 01:25:30,082 - [Orlo] We'll find something. - Jimmy. 1189 01:25:30,158 --> 01:25:31,420 Jimmy. 1190 01:25:32,260 --> 01:25:34,251 Don't move. Don't move, son. 1191 01:25:45,406 --> 01:25:48,637 - Jimmy. - Go away, Daddy. 1192 01:25:48,710 --> 01:25:53,010 - Give me your hand. - You just want Charlie, that's all. 1193 01:25:53,081 --> 01:25:55,345 Jimmy, put your hand in mine. 1194 01:25:55,416 --> 01:25:57,714 Just go away, Daddy. 1195 01:25:58,386 --> 01:26:00,854 - [Cracking] - Daddy, help! 1196 01:26:06,327 --> 01:26:08,352 Help! 1197 01:26:25,580 --> 01:26:27,070 Oh, Jimmy. 1198 01:26:27,949 --> 01:26:29,644 Oh, my son. 1199 01:26:37,992 --> 01:26:40,187 - [Quacking] - [Rutledge] Hooper. 1200 01:26:42,530 --> 01:26:47,229 Daddy, don't let them take Charlie. Don't let 'em. 1201 01:26:48,169 --> 01:26:51,002 Sorry, son, there's nothing I can do about that now. 1202 01:26:51,072 --> 01:26:55,065 - [Quacking] - Charlie, Charlie, Charlie! 1203 01:26:55,944 --> 01:26:58,276 I'm sorry, sonny. I'm sorry. 1204 01:26:58,346 --> 01:27:02,248 We've got to put Charlie under protective custody for his own good. 1205 01:27:02,317 --> 01:27:05,514 Let's go home. I'll explain it all to you later. 1206 01:27:07,855 --> 01:27:09,846 - So long, gentlemen. - No. 1207 01:27:09,924 --> 01:27:12,518 You're not going home, you're coming along with us. 1208 01:27:12,594 --> 01:27:14,892 - You're under arrest. - Arrest? 1209 01:27:14,963 --> 01:27:18,524 Suspicion of violation of federal gold regulations. 1210 01:27:18,600 --> 01:27:22,468 - He didn't mean to. - Sorry. Come on, Dooley. 1211 01:27:25,940 --> 01:27:28,067 Well, at least you're lucky, old boy. 1212 01:27:29,010 --> 01:27:32,571 Lucky? My son disowned me, I've lost a fortune 1213 01:27:32,647 --> 01:27:35,081 and I've been arrested by the federal government. 1214 01:27:35,149 --> 01:27:39,176 Right. But you've got a darn good lawyer to handle your case. 1215 01:27:40,288 --> 01:27:42,256 Thanks, Fred. 1216 01:27:47,228 --> 01:27:49,253 [Sirens wail] 1217 01:28:08,816 --> 01:28:10,374 [Crowd shouting] 1218 01:28:10,451 --> 01:28:12,009 [Man] Where are the gold eggs? 1219 01:28:16,090 --> 01:28:17,580 [Man] Right on time, Charlie. 1220 01:28:17,659 --> 01:28:21,254 - [Man] What's that duck really worth? - Will the duck testify? 1221 01:28:21,329 --> 01:28:24,662 Sorry, you can't get into the trial. That's regulations. 1222 01:28:24,732 --> 01:28:27,633 We cover riot cases, rapes and spies, but a rich duck? Oh, no. 1223 01:28:27,702 --> 01:28:29,294 Sorry, gentlemen. 1224 01:28:34,309 --> 01:28:39,269 [Lawyer] Mr. Hooper, did you actually witness the duck lay a golden egg? 1225 01:28:39,347 --> 01:28:40,336 [Hooper] Yes, sir. 1226 01:28:40,415 --> 01:28:44,408 - Did you make it perform this feat? - I did, indeed. 1227 01:28:44,485 --> 01:28:47,147 [Lawyer] Would you demonstrate it for us? 1228 01:28:47,221 --> 01:28:49,018 I'd be happy to. 1229 01:29:01,736 --> 01:29:03,533 [Barking] 1230 01:29:10,111 --> 01:29:12,045 It's the wrong pitch, isn't it? 1231 01:29:30,798 --> 01:29:33,266 Your Honor, he's not doing it right. 1232 01:29:33,334 --> 01:29:35,768 - Sit down. - I'd like to get this out in the open. 1233 01:29:35,837 --> 01:29:39,830 If that duck can lay gold eggs, then we should establish that. 1234 01:29:39,907 --> 01:29:42,842 If I've done anything wrong, I'll accept the consequences. 1235 01:29:42,910 --> 01:29:46,903 - You're out of your mind. - If we lose the duck, so be it. 1236 01:29:46,981 --> 01:29:49,973 It's just that now I know that there are things... 1237 01:29:51,552 --> 01:29:53,577 ...a darn sight more valuable to me. 1238 01:30:00,328 --> 01:30:01,886 Excuse me. 1239 01:30:05,333 --> 01:30:07,324 One more time, Charlie. 1240 01:30:07,402 --> 01:30:09,768 [Barking] 1241 01:30:11,839 --> 01:30:13,864 [Ding] 1242 01:30:13,941 --> 01:30:18,105 There it is. There's the evidence. Break that open and look inside of it. 1243 01:30:18,179 --> 01:30:20,704 You're gonna get it now. Wait till it... 1244 01:30:29,490 --> 01:30:31,253 [crowd muttering] 1245 01:30:35,496 --> 01:30:39,455 It's run out. Finished. 1246 01:30:40,968 --> 01:30:44,369 [Judge bangs gavel] Case dismissed because of lack of evidence. 1247 01:30:44,439 --> 01:30:48,273 But Your Honor, the defendant has 40,000 dollars in various banks. 1248 01:30:48,342 --> 01:30:50,003 [Judge] Well, good for him. 1249 01:30:50,077 --> 01:30:53,342 Since when are we against the accumulation of a few dollars, 1250 01:30:53,414 --> 01:30:56,474 as a result of individual initiative? 1251 01:30:56,551 --> 01:30:59,611 This country was built on enterprise and ingenuity. 1252 01:30:59,687 --> 01:31:02,019 Let's don't lose that. 1253 01:31:02,089 --> 01:31:05,525 Only bad thing is, he won't be able to keep more of the money, 1254 01:31:05,593 --> 01:31:08,153 after he pays his income tax on it. 1255 01:31:11,766 --> 01:31:16,169 You know, for a worthless creature, you sure have caused a lot of trouble. 1256 01:31:17,538 --> 01:31:20,006 - Here you are, Professor. - Thank you, Your Honor. 1257 01:31:20,074 --> 01:31:25,011 But, you're wrong about this duck being worthless, it has great value. 1258 01:31:25,079 --> 01:31:28,981 It was just that I was a little confused about what that value was. 1259 01:31:44,365 --> 01:31:45,559 Really? 1260 01:31:47,201 --> 01:31:51,001 - Forever? - Really forever, pal. 1261 01:31:52,907 --> 01:31:54,704 [Judge] One word of caution, son. 1262 01:31:54,775 --> 01:31:57,744 If it ever lays another gold egg... 1263 01:31:58,513 --> 01:32:00,879 ...bury it. Quick. 1264 01:32:09,023 --> 01:32:11,218 [Crowd cheering, duck quacking] 1265 01:32:29,023 --> 01:32:31,218 5@y3